Yesterday, July 12, my sister-in-law, the widow of a favorite brother, called to wish me happy birthday. It was a smooth friendly talk, going over the kids and grandkids. Three of her grandkids, ages 8, 5, and 2, were conceived by IVF. I had warned my brother of the immorality of this when I heard about the first IVF baby. Yesterday my sister-in-law said how great it was that science now makes it possible for those who want to have children to have children.

I wanted to give her my opinion, but I didn’t. I don’t think any moral arguments would out-weigh her love for her living grandchildren and her happiness that her kids could have a loving family of kids.

About ten years ago, I was surprised to find out that a business I owned was involved with a service soliciting surrogate mothers among college students in San Diego. I called the company to tell them we would not run their ads or provide internet help to them. The woman I spoke with said her name was Amber. At first I thought she was German.

She talked to me about how wonderful it was that the young women who served as surrogates could make $50,000 and thus pay for their college education. I asked for details about how the surrogacy was done. She explained that after fertilization but before implantation, the fertilized eggs were categorized. There were AA, AB, BB, and so on. This way the future parents could pick the best future babies.

When I said, well, this was interesting, but I could not cooperate with this practice, Amber pleaded with me, Did I not know how much a Chinese family wanted a baby, how much babies meant to them?

It took me a while after I hung up to realize what was going on. What embryos would a Chinese couple consider AA? Not ones with female chromosomes, certainly. As far as I know California still allows without restriction for selective fertilization and surrogacy.

I’ve been around the block with Catholic parishes in California. I’ve heard homilies – okay, somewhat rarely – about abortion. But I can’t say I’ve heard anything about gay sex, and never about in-vitro fertilization.

– from a California Catholic reader