In the December 15 issue of the San Diego Reader, an “almost factual” story appears headlined “McElroy’s Mission: Local bishop seeks to raise environmental awareness among the faithful.
The satirical piece begins, “San Diego’s Roman Catholic bishop Robert McElroy has said that he regards abortion and global warming as the two most crucial issues facing his bishopric. But while a large number of Catholics share his opinion with regard to abortion, fewer are onboard with the claim of global warming… In the words of Our Lady of Comfort parishioner Brad Halberd, “Our true home is heaven, not this shithole. There’s a reason Jesus called Satan ‘The Prince of This World.’ It’s all I can do to care about people. This ball of godforsaken rock can go straight to hell.”
To combat this attitude, and to reinforce the notion that all creation is a gift of the Creator and must be respected as such, McElroy has joined forces with the US. Conference of Catholic Bishops in developing “Hell is Hot, Heaven is Not,” an educational program that will be implemented throughout the diocese of San Diego….”
The last paragraph of the story ends: “…That’s why we’re installing solar panels on all our churches and switching to LED lights in all our sanctuary lamps and electronic votive candles.”
Picture Story: Ross Douhat Penitent Before Bishop McElroy
In an adjacent story titled “Ross Douthat Penitent Before Bishop McElroy,” the first paragraph begins, “’It would have been one thing if this clown had gone after me in some dinky Catholic publication,’ explains San Diego bishop Robert McElroy, who recently placed New York Times Op-Ed writer Ross Douthat under an interdict that prevented the traditionally minded Catholic scribbler from entering a Catholic Church or receiving the sacraments in the continental United States. “But he attacked me on the New York Times’ website – the paper of record, read all over the country, and indeed, the world. Those were my people he was bad-mouthing me in front of…..’”
To see the entire stories, click here and turn to pages 14-15.
(Full disclosure: Jim Holman, who is president of California Catholic Daily, is the owner and editor of the San Diego Reader.)
Art as teacher:
very fine work, sdreader. i first saw electric candles in rome in the mid 1970’s, both at mass in roman parishes as well as at most votive candle stands , and hated it. there;s something downright gnostic about not letting a little wax candles be the body to light. i just bet that we will be seeing a new ‘ecoexegtics’ as bible passages will be mined to to the hidden green messages.
My. Squeemish moderating one day; scatalogical high jinks the next.
PS: Douthat is spelled Douthat.
Thank you, the story has been updated with the correct spelling.
PS: ‘squeemish is spelled ‘squeamish’. in a way, spelling doesn’t matter so much anymore. i read an uncorrected copy of a letter from thomas jefferson that spelled the same word 3 different ways within 15 pages.
Touché. Capitalization has also fallen from grace. :)
Actually, my correction was for editor eyes only, for Douthat’s sake–his name’s worth knowing. I meant no smarty pants; should’ve bcc’d or bracketed. As for the scatalogical, strange, no?
Spelling was standardized [standardised if British/ some Canadians] during the nineteenth century. So we’re left with the numerous exceptions in standard American English spelling. One of the nice things about Spanish is every letter is pronounced in the order it appears in the written word. So if you can pronounce it, you can spell it.
MassResistance’s groundbreaking “LGBT Health Hazards” book to come out in paperback next month
Currently available as Amazon electronic “e-book” edition
Breaking a 20-year silence by the pro-family & conservative establishment
Our groundbreaking book, The Health Hazards of Homosexuality, which has been available since October as an electronic-edition book through Amazon, is being readied to for release as a paperback edition –
But just underneath the veneer of respectability lies a terrible nightmare of problems surrounding LGBT behavior. Unfortunately, for decades virtually nobody in the pro-family movement has been willing – or able –…