The following comes from a Nov. 7 story on Yahoo News.
In front of all their friends and their 10-year-old son, Clark and Valerie Tate came together for a special ceremony on a California beach.
But this couple wasn’t renewing their vows. They were “uncoupling.”
In a new age ritual that might only be found in San Francisco, Clark and Valerie took the wedding rings they exchanged 14 years ago and gave them back to each other.
“These rings do not symbolize who we are to each other anymore,” Clark said.
“So we’re releasing them,” Valerie added.
They no longer consider each other husband and wife, not even romantic partners, but they have decided to continue living together in the same house in order to raise their son Jonah together.
In other words, it might be the most amicable divorce-non-divorce in history.
“We grieved a lot of our relationship so long ago, this is just sort of marking the time,” Valerie said.
Divorce often gets ugly and expensive. Even actress Gwyneth Paltrow and Coldplay frontman Chris Martin decided to “consciously uncouple” earlier this year.
The Tates, who went with their own version of “uncoupling,” believed this was a way to break up their marriage without animosity, but it required an unconventional approach — Clark and Valerie still live together in the same house, with separate bedrooms, and maintain joint assets, but have an open marriage, meaning they date other people.
“We started talking about the possibility of dating other people,” Valerie said.
“I remember hearing it, initially being shocked,” Clark added, “And then being like, well, that sounds interesting to me, too.”
Their relationship wasn’t always like this. Valerie said their wedding was “magical” with “so much love, so much beauty.” It was her first time walking down the aisle. It was Clark’s third. For the first few years, the couple said they were living in love, but then they said the spark, the intimacy started to fade.
Eventually they said their marriage started failing, but unlike about 50 percent of couples in the United States, divorce was never on the table for them.
“I’ve been through that road before, and I knew the other side of it. I knew that wasn’t exactly what I wanted,” Clark said.
“We weren’t considering really changing the structure of our family unit,” Valerie added.
That family unit centered around their son, who they were determined to protect from their relationship failings….
To read the entire story, click here.
Does this couple, I mean, do these two individuals honestly think that “dating” others will not have an adverse effect upon their young son?!
It they bring their “dates’ home, their son will be very confused.
And yet there will be someone out there willing to be this guy’s 4th (!!!!) wife…
This is what happens when marriage is not taken seriously. The emotional carnage is huge and widespread and taints all of society. Folks may chuckle at the New Age language of “uncoupling” but the consequences are not amusing.
The SECULAR definition of “DATING” – (free Merriam-Webster)
” The series of social engagements shared by a couple looking to get married their dating had been going on for so long that she was starting to wonder if she’d ever take that trip down the aisle
Synonyms: courting, dating, lovemaking, suit
Related Words: suit, wooing; affair (also affaire), love affair, romance; betrothal, engagement “
Dating others – if it leads to anything sexual – is ADULTERY.
This is entirely crazy. Wow, that “Clark” is really a catch; going down that old aisle for the third time. And, it did not work — bummer!
Catholic People: please place this sad story in discard pile. There is no “uncoupling” ceremony worth anything to a marriage that fails. (Again, what was “Valeria” thinking while walking down the aisle with Clark — that the third time as a charm?) The perversion continues when they decide to live together, but not as a couple, apparently to their impressionable son can see the wonders of Mom and Dad dating (having sex with??) other people.
Put these lost people together with Pope Francis’s words about a priest not being “authoritative” but “compassionate”. Nope, what is needed is more men, more command and control direction from a priest, not less. Of course, none of this matters if you don’t have much faith to begin with. Then, being nice is expected, because you are just doing dress-up, making believe that you are someone that a person admires and respects. Like the sad Tates, at some point you need to stand for something.
They’re not divorcing, so in a sense, what they have is truly a ‘traditional’ marriage; primary a financial and structural arrangement aimed at maximizing the potential social position of a child.
The idea of marriage based on romantic love/passion is a very modern one. The fleeting nature of passion is not. In the past, marriages were arranged (and not necessarily ever passionate), or simply turned to discrete affairs once the passion died out, so the only major difference here is that there is no apparent desire to maintain the public perception of a happy marriage. Is it really any worse?
Yes, it is worse. Marriage is more than a contract and always has been, those who treat it as such do not fulfill it’s very nature. The legalistic nature of a contractual relationship is not the loving atmosphere children need to thrive. Don’t overthink it.
And we fall further into paganism, and out right atheism. No wonder so many have nothing against homo-marriage. Most people today have no idea what marriage is; the lifelong commitment between a man and a woman.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church, and delivered himself up for it. Eph. 5:25
I am with Jesus, “There is NO divorce.”
Where, exactly, does Jesus say “there is NO divorce”?
I don’t know if this couple made a sacramental marriage but here is what Jesus taught for married couples who abide and honor His natural law: Douay-Rheims Bible Matthew 19:8 (Plus read the whole Chapter 19)
He saith to them: Because Moses by reason of the hardness of your heart permitted you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
Douay-Rheims Bible Mark 10:19
What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
We need to pray for them and their conversion. This is another case of moral relativism taking its toll on society. They just don’t see how wrong they are. May God open their eye’s and may St. Michael help us in this great battle on earth for there are many lies and deceptions. Many untruths misleading vulnerable souls even souls who are of faith fall for deception too. We pray that our Lord will help even “us all” not fall out of grace for we are not exempt and we can easily fall out of His graces. May all human beings remember to honor God’s natural law.
Will this generation ever grow . How utterly pedestrian and juvenile. My generation is an embarrassment.
Where, exactly, does Jesus say “there is NO divorce”? = In the exact SAME PLACE where He stated that Sodom and Gomorrah was annihilated for a lot more than not offering tea and crumpets to visitors.
There is absolutely no such thing as a rainbow bible.
The Gospel of Mark 10: 6-11 But from the beginning of the creation, God made them *male and female*.  For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother; and shall cleave to his wife.  And they two shall be in one flesh. Therefore now they are not two, but one flesh.  What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.  And in the house again his disciples asked him concerning the same thing.  And he saith to them: Whosoever shall put away his wife and marry another, committeth adultery against her.  And if the wife shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery Douay-Rheims Catholic Bible
I see another scenario. One dark and stormy night this clueless couple comes back from dating other people and find the house dark and a note on the kitchen table. “Dear Clark and Val, I’m not calling you mom and dad because you’re more into the single scene than being parents. I’ve gone to live with Gram and Grampa. Let me know when you grow up and we’ll talk. Until then, I need some grown ups to help me . It’s tough enough being a kid these days without parents acting like the kids in my class.”