The following is written by Charlie Jacobs, the pen name of a California mother whose daughter announced she was transgender the summer after eighth grade:
My daughter was an ultrafeminine girl since birth. She insisted that her room be painted pink, and she refused to wear anything but dresses until third grade. She avoided her older brother’s toys and sports, choosing tea sets and Shopkins, a series of tiny, collectible toys.
That all abruptly changed when she turned 12. As her body matured into young womanhood, she stopped begging for a bikini and avoided any clothing that accentuated her figure. She hid her breasts under men’s extra-large sweatshirts. Then, my daughter immersed herself into anime art and cosplaying, the hobby of dressing like fantastical characters. I supported her creative side.
When my daughter was in the eighth grade, as a Christmas gift, I took her to SacAnime, an anime convention in Sacramento, California. There, she met a girl three years her senior, but light years more mature. That girl mesmerized my daughter with her edginess or magnanimous personality. The older girl went by “they.” After their meeting, my daughter got a boy’s haircut, stopped shaving, and asked for boys’ underwear. My daughter parroted everything about the older teen.
The summer before ninth grade, she announced that she was transgender. Post-announcement, she began to threaten suicide. She sunk into deep depression.
I managed to get all of her passwords to all of her social media accounts. What I saw was jaw-dropping.
Almost everyone that she was conversing with was a stranger, except for the SacAnime friend, who sent her a self-made masturbation video. The discussions on the Discord platform online involved fetishistic sexual conversations. Kids were sending each other erotica, including involving incest and pedophilia. Older girls were instructing younger girls how to sell nude photos of themselves to men for money. Girls bragged about their different mental illnesses. They talked about which drugs do what. They talked about how they are really boys, not girls. They discussed “top surgery” (that is, having their breasts removed) and “packers” that create a bulge in one’s pants to imply the presence of a penis.
My daughter’s electronic devices were filled with TikTok videos and YouTubers talking about how great they feel now that they had “transitioned.” There were messages in which strangers told her to kick my head in because I was a “transphobe” for refusing to call her a male name.
I went nuclear. I took the phone and stripped it of all social media—YouTube, Instagram, Discord, Reddit, Pinterest, Twitter. I even blocked her ability to get to the internet. I deleted all of her contacts and changed her phone number.
I sat next to her while she “attended” school online via Zoom. I deleted YouTube from the smart TVs and locked up the remotes. I took every anime book from her room. I threw away all of her costumes. I banned any friend who was even the slightest bit unsavory. I involved the police about the porn. I printed out the law and informed her that if anyone sent her porn, I would not hesitate to prosecute.
She hated me like an addict hates the person preventing her drug fix. I held my ground, despite the constant verbal abuse. After a year and half of utter hell, my daughter is finally returning to her authentic self—a beautiful, artsy, kind and loving daughter.
I worked hard to take back the close relationship my daughter and I had once had. I bit my tongue until it bled. I took her anger and only responded with love or walked away when I knew I would respond poorly. Most importantly, I held my ground. I refused to accept her delusion with compassion.
Full story at The Daily Signal.
Read the whole article.
I am afraid that this lady has just taught her daughter how to say the things she wanted to hear.
I am horrified by this.
My kids did not get on social media until they left my house, and then it was against my will but they are adults. There have been problems and they had to report some bad stuff. Had to delete some people’s accounts. Fell for some things that they should not have fallen for.
I do not want to be too critical because this family has been through the wringer.
It is hard to keep them off their phones and off social media. But do it.
On your advice, smh, I read the original article, and it is more illuminating of the evil of the transgender movement and of the incredible efforts of this mother than the version supplied here. The efforts this mother put forth were heroic and characterized by a very tough love. I am not surprised the Catholic school was not as supportive of her efforts as they should have been. That’s the melancholy state of woke education most everywhere. But concerning your response, I think you are cynical and wrong about the daughter. You can’t fake things with teens, and teens cannot fake true kindness and warmth. It is either there or it is not. This woman has been to the depths with her daughter, and I trust her ability to see into her soul. You and I cannot. As an aside, Cal Catholic has presented a number of outstanding individuals lately who would do much to restore truth and vitality to the REC. I hope Abp. Gomez has been reading.
My point was stop it before it starts.
Don’t ever let your kids on the Internet without supervision.
Computers in the family area. Phones are a no. I know sometimes parents are afraid of kidnappings and school shootings but until they start driving alone they do not need a phone. There are some exceptions and every parent makes their own decisions.
The reason teens get away with so much is that they play on parents wishes and guilt. There is always more going on with teens than you know about..
Another reason for the change in behavior is that the teen may have decided to put herself out of the misery so that she does not feel the need to fight anymore.
This is an extremely sad story. And every parent should be made aware of it.
Teenage brains are not ready for the Internet. Many adult brains cannot handle it.
A conversation at my in-laws: 30 years ago
The adult children were laughing about the stuff they used to get away with.
MIL: I never knew about any of this
SIL: The easiest people to fool are your parents.
Tragically, the pervasive and ubiquitous influence of the world, especially via social and other mass media, impact all families, even the most devout, orthodox, conservative ones who strive to protect and shelter their children. I’ve heard too many stories. Often parents are naive about what their children know and are exposed to. I urge all parents to have age-appropriate conversations with your children and teens. And, if you’re at all like me, resist the urge to do most of the talking. I encourage you to listen, not appear shocked (even if you are), assure your child of your love for them and gently and clearly speak the truth. I know some families who have been quite strict with media, only to find their children, once reaching adulthood, or at least off to college or out of the house, in virtual total rebellion against the faith and values of their parents. Again, please talk with (not to or at) your children and pray for them. Saint Monica, pray for us. Lord, have mercy on us. Below is a resource you may want to consider for your children, grandchildren, godchildren or others:
https://www.dailywire.com/news/breaking-matt-walsh-launches-new-book-tackling-trans-agenda-targeting-children
Gently and clearly speak the truth?
Because every teenager thinks their parents are the smartest people in the world.
Set firm boundaries with stated consequences.
I was strict with media. As soon as my kid was out of the house, he watched Harry Potter.
He let me know. I made the appropriate worried parent responses.
I was strict with media because I know how being not strict with media affected me.
Put problems off as long as you can.
There are always kids, and sometimes teachers, at school that will teach them what you don’t want them to know
I was doing volunteer work with teens when one of the kids said a bad word. Another kid said “I don’t know why but I just have never used those words.”
I know why.
Dear name withheld, gently and clearly speaking the truth does not exclude firmness and boundaries or consequences.
The alternative is abrasively and unclearly speaking the truth, which is even less likely to be effective, let alone respectful and loving.
Much of what I posted is about talking with one’s children in a way that’s most likely to be received in the best possible way by them. This doesn’t relate only to my successes and failures with my children, but something I’ve observed in other families and in my many years work with young people as a youth minister and high school teacher. I’m not sure what you meant by “Put problems off as long as you can.”
Problems with sexual predators are likely to occur in anyone’s life. The sooner you put yourself in the position to be preyed on, the sooner it will happen. It can happen very young at church, scouts, school or home so watch them. Keep them off the internet, like the lady in the story learned.
Children and teenagers have poor judgement. Stay and supervise. Yes, they will try to get rid of you. Tough.
Other parents may not have your same values. We had a parent at our parish school who was extremely offended that her kid was kicked out of pre-school for hitting, kicking and biting the other children. She thought it was outrageous because boys will be boys.
You have to be vigilant. And when kids are being supervised, they do not get into the same kind of trouble.. You know-smokin in the boys room.
Having too much to drink is probably going to happen to them-unless they eschew alcohol. I was at a wedding where minors were served alcohol. Mine were told-“give that to your dad and order yourself a Coke”, which they did. Another young person at the wedding was allowed to imbibe by her parents to the point where she was almost falling down drunk. The dad laughed and said “what can you do?” Another teenager stepped in, took the alcohol away from her and told her she’d had enough. That is what you can do.
Mine were legal age when they found out their limits. I don’t like that they drink or that they got drunk but at least we put it off until they were adults.
Deacon Craig Anderson, I looked up the book you recommended and I think it sounds extremely simplistic.
Transgenderism is a condition with so much pain and suffering. Nobody should be writing a book comparing it to a child playing pretend.
Nobody should be writing a book about it at all unless they have done a lot of research and spent a lot of time with transgender people.
Hollywood and the media always do every mental health issue and behavioral disorders a lot of disservice.
I hear you and thanks for your thoughtful response. I have, admittedly, not read that book that was passed along and recommended to me. Yet, the numerous children’s books promoting homosexuality and transgenderism are equally simplistic, are they not? (I’ve read excerpts from all these “children’s” books.)
It seems adults should help teens and adults struggling with these complex conditions and not foist adult sexual agendas upon children (as the LGBTQ+ lobby is doing). Let’s let children be children. The book I mentioned was written only in response to the transgender propaganda directed at young children. And, let’s help those dealing with mental health issues (which, unfortunately, is illegal for therapists to do in some states). A few resources from those who have done research, spent time and are dealing with this are:
TransRegret (“Your pain is real and we want to help.”) is at https://transregret.com/ and Walt Heyer shares his personal story at https://waltheyer.com/
the Alliance for Therapeutic Choice and Scientific Integrity and Eden Invitation:
https://www.therapeuticchoice.com/
https://www.edeninvitation.com/
You (and others) may want to check them out. And, of course, let’s love and pray for those struggling with gender discordance.
If you want to avoid the agenda, you have to home school.
We had kids in 2 Newman List Catholic colleges. There were transgender students and gay and lesbian students at both schools.
But the normalization of these things by clergy or religious or staff or faculty was absent.
I think that is what people are reacting to when they try to write books.
Pope Francis is correct that it is wrong to teach kids that they can choose to be the opposite sex. That is immoral.
The person with the condition who is struggling is not immoral. Almost every LGBTQ person I have ever heard talk about it said they wished they were normal and that there is so much suffering that goes along with these conditions. Acceptance is a huge step out of the pain.
The Catholic Church is really about salvation. I have never heard the Church say that a Catholic who is transgender is sinning.
You seem like a deacon who will be compassionate to those suffering from this so thank you for that.
As a home schooling dad myself, home schooling families are among those struggling with this and similar issues as well. And, our children attended two Newman Guide recommended schools also, where normalization of this was not taught. And, more succinctly, they were taught that sexual intimacy belongs only in marriage (which is one man and one woman). I certainly wish the solution were as simple as home education. And, like same sex attraction, having the disorder is not a sin. And, you’re right, Pope Francis has spoken clearly and truthfully about this issue. The transition we all need is conversion and conformity to Christ (not cross-sex hormone therapy and genital mutilation). In addition to praying for those struggling with gender discordance, same sex attraction and heterosexual promiscuity, pray for all parents, teachers, youth workers, catechists and clergy. As you noted, the goal is eternal life in the Kingdom of God.
I think the Church should break down what is sinful and what is not. Jenner said that hormone therapy helped immensely, when he was not transitioning, just to make being alive more bearable. As there becomes more and more evidence that there is a biological basis for this condition and that it exists from the womb, the Church will have to look at what is permissible and what is not.
I had to take hormone therapy for medical conditions. That was not sinful.
The sentence “I certainly wish the solution was as simple as home education” confuses me. Solution to what? Keeping your kids away from the agenda?
When I homeschooled, my kid learned about abortion at the age of 4 because it was mentioned at Church
At our parish’s Confirmation class, the kids were taught that people are gay because they don’t have fathers. (There are no Catholic high schools in our area so all the Catholic kids have to go to Sunday School to get confirmed.) A third of the class never came back. I taught my kid that it was not true, it was not the teaching of the Church and that nobody really knows why some people are gay and he went back to class. I’m sure that if the pastor knew that had happened he would probably cringe. I probably should have told him but I didn’t.
So if these subjects are what Catholics are going to talk about, then that is what kids are going to learn about.
Maybe this isn’t what you meant.
I am referring to a solution to the problem of social media and popular culture affecting children. Home educated children, even from the strictest families, are not immune to that. Thank you for investing in your children.
I can see my kids social media and there is none of that on there but it is the algorithms. You can choose what you see on social media. You can block things that you don’t want to see. When they first get on, there were some problems with teaching them to verify stuff especially around the elections. If you don’t use your social media for political things or popular culture things you won’t get that unless someone you are friends with posts it. The more you use it for good, the more good comes to you.
Mine don’t watch cable news or any TV. They pick the movies they want to see. They avoid ones with bad values.
In any 12 step program, the first step is to admit that you are powerless over the condition.
Step 2 is to realize that a power greater than yourself can restore you to sanity (not a great word)
Step 3 is to turn our will and lives over to God as we understand Him.
Asking for God to remove our shortcomings isn’t until step 7.
As a representative of the Power greater than ourselves, you can help people understand Him and His will.
It is a process.
I think Step 11 needs to be higher- Seek through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, seeking only knowledge of His Will for us and the power to carry it out.
And this is why Pope Francis talks about accompaniment. It takes a long time sometimes.
I think it’s practically hopeless
Please don’t lose hope. In Christ, there is always hope. Look at the world in which the early Church found itself. Though small in number, they turned the world upside down! (Or, from God’s perspective, right side up!) As our Lord Jesus promised, with God, all things are possible.
For this momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,
as we look not to what is seen but to what is unseen; for what is seen is transitory, but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:17-18
Thank you for your testimony Charlie. Just curious: where has Dad been during all of this?
If you are considering going to a convention, please read up on “Cosplay is not consent”. A lot of costumes are sexy and some people do not know or respect proper boundaries.
I hope this lady will let the convention and the host of the convention know that at the convention she met someone who sent her the kind of video she did.
There is not a lot they can do but they might add warnings for the parents of minors who attend. Most conventions require those under 13 to be accompanied but they might want to raise that age.
I am not sure what kind of person gives a dislike to a comment about protecting youth from sexual predators.
The kind who enjoys getting a rise out of overly sensitive people.
It didn’t work. I just assumed there are either Cosplayers who don’t want to give up groping or people who like ’em young.
The syndicate pushing the “trans” ideology should be jailed …
The future belongs to China and Russia. Be very afraid that America has become so weak under Democrats and the deep state.
The Church teaches that our identities as male and female are part of God’s good
design in Creation, that our bodies and sexual identities are gifts from God, and that we
should accept and care for our bodies as they were created. A person cannot change his
or her gender. A person should accept and seek to live in conformity with his or her
sexual identity as determined at birth. The human person is a body-soul union, and the
body – created male or female – is a constitutive aspect of the human person. Therefore,
the Catholic Church teaches that the removal or destruction of healthy sexual and
reproductive organs is a type of mutilation and intrinsically evil. Procedures, surgeries,
and therapies designed to assist a person in “transitioning” his or her gender are
morally prohibited. “Everyone, man and woman, should acknowledge and accept his
sexual identity. Physical, moral, and spiritual difference and complementarity are
oriented toward the goods of marriage and the flourishing of family life. The harmony of
the couple and of society depends in part on the way in which the complementarity,
needs, and mutual support between the sexes are lived out.” See Catechism of the
Catholic Church (“CCC”), §2333. “Each of the two sexes is an image of the power and
tenderness of God, with equal dignity though in a different way.” See, CCC §2335
I think this may not be worded very well and I do not see anything from the Vatican that says exactly this. If anyone has a source, please let me know.
The pastoral guide starts with this;
Gender dysphoria is a real psychological condition, in which a biological male or female
believes he or she is the opposite gender. It is of paramount importance to handle such situations
with gentle and compassionate pastoral skill and concern. All forms of discrimination and harsh
treatment must be strongly resisted and corrected. It is also important to recognize the difficulties
parents and families face when a child or family member is dealing with gender dysphoria. This
disorder affects the entire family.
My post stating the source is not posted so this is from Diocese of Springfield.
I know this article was put out a year ago but I just found it. Straight. Disturbing.
I can’t understand how you can so blindly follow something men wrote and claim to know it is God’s word. GOD DID NOT WRITE THE BIBLE…MEN WROTE THE BIBLE
All the woman did was show her child they could find ZERO comfort or support in their own home & family. My oldest daughter came to me at 12 and said, “Mom, I’m pansexual.” I said, “Baby, I don’t know what that is but I love you no matter what.” You should love your child & support them in finding themselves. All that woman did was ensure that the first chance her child gets to get away from her, she will take.
And, really, Harry Potter? You can’t be serious, smdh. I’m scared to death of people who think Harry Potter is “work of the devil” because your mind does not work correctly. I feel safer in the worst hood of America then I do in a white catholic church, especially one in the south. Oh and I’m white myself.
You turn your own children against you then blame the devil. Or worse you raise a bigot filled with self hate. Anyone like this, should have her children removed from her home. Ya’ll really do evil work and scream God’s name while doing it.
Do better.