The following was posted by Emily Zanotti on Ignitum, ”the social network of the JPII and B16 generations,” on May 16.

A week after I got married, I had to visit one of those urgent care clinics for antibiotics (if you think this is too much information, you should totally stop now, because this is a birth control post). Apparently, you can pick up all sorts of things in Vegas even if you don’t happen to cavort with ladies of the evening.

But I digress. After four minutes with the nurse practitioner, who had known me for exactly that amount of time, she determined I was pregnant. Now, mind you, she had no such basis for making this determination – certainly not my cycle, which as a dedicated natural family planning devotee, I was keenly aware of – except for one small fact about my medical situation that stuck out to her like a sore thumb.

I, a young woman of 30 – professional, accomplished, middle-class, law school-educated, with a life of child-free bliss ahead of me – did not and had not ever used any form of chemical birth control.

Ergo, pregnant.

Potential medical malpractice lawsuit notwithstanding, I picked myself up off the floor and explained, politely, that I had no interest in birth control, understood the risks and complications of such a horrific decision and had happily made it. She made a joke about how people who use the rhythm method are called “parents.” I explained that what I did was nothing like the rhythm method. She proceeded to assume I was a lunatic.

I tell you this story not because I want you to see me as some sort of victim. No. One encounter with a member of the medical profession who is unfamiliar with the naturalistic technology that accompanies fertility awareness, culturally pervasive since Toni Wechsler published Taking Charge of Your Fertility in 2006, but because it brought up something I’d only been wondering about since I’d been through my own NFP educational experience.

Why don’t more people know about NFP?

The relevant appeal seems clear cut to me, but then again, I’m in marketing and think I know everything because I read it in an AdAge. But seriously. In a world where people freak out about high fructose corn syrup, buy only organically-grown vegetables, make their own soda, worry about the effects of chemical mosquito repellant and the hazards of dumping AA batteries in your kitchen trash. Why, on Earth, do people think its fine to ingest a chemical that interferes with a symphony of hormonal and chemical processes modern medicine doesn’t fully understand.

I’m not alone in my thinking, either. Elissa Stein and Susan Kim, much further left than I am and certainly no friends to the organized “patriarchal religion” they abhor, penned a book calledFlow, which took on the mainstream understanding of the female cycle and the knee-jerk need to control not just birth, but the whole shebang. The authors point out – and rightfully – that in this age of organics, sustainability and environmentalism, birth control just seems so…twenty years ago.

Perhaps the Catholic Church, for all it is maligned in mainstream media, might be on to the solution. After all, those of us who’ve been through the ringer of NFP understand ourselves maybe a tiny bit too well, an education we most likely got as adults and one that was never offered in the “comprehensive sex education” classes that my public school forced on nervous 8th graders that claimed to teach me everything I needed to know about my body to survive the next forty years of my life until menopause. The problem is, of course, that the Church is far too modest.

NFP it seems, needs some new PR.

You’ll probably suspect I’m calling the Church to make the teachings “more relevant.” I’m not. They’re fine exactly how they are. And arguing over the intricacies of dogma surrounding, say, what extenuating circumstances are enough to warrant delaying pregnancy with NFP, won’t move this ball forward, primarily because those of us who argue about whether drowning in student loan debt is the same as being unable to make rent and put food on the table in the context of whether it constitutes a financial hardship are already believers. Bringing NFP into the 20th (yes, 20th) century has nothing to do with diluting the message, because that’s what draws most young Catholic women to the practice in the first place. A few spiff-ups on the presentation end could really help us spread the wealth, though.

For instance, my NFP instructor, who swore us to secrecy about the process as though we were going to discuss, at length, our sexual habits with just any old person in the grocery line, was about 90 years old, wore stretch pants and an embroidered cat sweatshirt and showed us a VHS (yes, in 2010 and yes, the pastor of the Church had to be called just to find a VHS player) where couples waxed poetic about how much they loved each other while wearing the sack dresses and floral Laura Ashley high-waisted pants that were so popular in 1989. And don’t even get me started about the embarrassment this self-esteem black hole suffered after a visit to Couple-to-Couple League, where I learned more than I ever wanted to know about people I never wanted to see again. Or the GeoCities-esque website I was granted access to, with its rose-hued color scheme, dancing sparkly pictures of babies, and huge florescent Comic Sans print.

And then there’s the curriculum, where, although all of the wonderful, amazing parts of NFP are investigated as in depth as the inner workings of the Basal Body Thermometer, no one ever talks about the hard parts. Like remembering. Or charting. Or having confusing results. Or, worse: the potential that you might go weeks without intimacy, you might learn about your body’s shortcomings, or that you might experience – along with all that elation at understanding your internal systems – fear, anxiety, trepidation and uncertainty. That things might not work out. And that you might need help. From real members of the medical profession.

Its not that these things are bad: at least, they weren’t when they were introduced (although I think the embroidered cat sweater missed the era of its cultural mainstay status). The VHS was popular twenty years ago, as was Laura Ashley. Comic Sans was on everything when I still ownned a desktop PC that ran Microsoft Bob. Couple to Couple League was invented when everyone thought fondue parties and Jonathon Livingston Seagull was worthwhile reading. It was all very, Our Bodies, Ourselves. But even Our Bodies, Ourselves is decades in the can.

There’s a moment here. A moment when we can take what we have, package it on DVDs starring normal-looking 20-year-olds, and with honesty and straightforwardness. Our generation isn’t used to flowery language and the pop-spirituality of the 1970s. We aren’t going to end our research at one website or one church-issued pamphlet. We have a thirst for knowledge that requires facts, case scenarios and realism. And, more than that, Truth.
And we’re hungering for it. I’m not kidding you when I say that the world just needs a little education. And you’re probably the one who’s best placed to do it.

To go the original blog posting, Click here.

 

READER COMMENTS

Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 6:32 AM By Life Lady 
All of this for a simple request: Please update the NFP materials for us. OK. Thanks!

Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 6:35 AM By rose
I teach marriage prep which includes NFP. Once I googled “I hate pre cana” and THOUSANDS of hits came up with young Catholics ranging from irritated to nauseous over the types who were teaching them. They ALSO cited stretch pants, Laura Ashley dresses and even Birkenstock shoes with no nail polish. Where classes were at a hotel, some “couldn’d wait to run to the bar” afterward. Sad, but true. Sooo…as St. Paul admonished to “be all things to all people” (which is today’s way of saying ‘speak their language, folks’) I made sure I wore jeans that didn’t come up to my waist, a bit of bling and very cute shoes. Does that sound frivolous? Well, after sizing me up from the outside, they decided to listen to what I had to say,and were blessed that day to learn the life-chagning message of Blessed JP II’s “Theology of the Body”. The couples who came in that day were not the same who left! Praise God and my pink purse!

Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 7:05 AM By Becie
Good points (on education and disseminating facts), but a total lack of understanding of the proper attitude towards openness to life. The FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT function of marriage is to nurture new life (that’s one of the reasons “same-sex unions” are unlawful and against the moral code). To place education, thus student loans, above the primary reason of marriage displays a disordered hierarchy of values and ethics.

Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 7:49 AM By Ygnacia
An excellent place for those 20+ to begin to learn the most up to date info on nfp is to visit the California Association of Natural Family Planning’s website. Especially visit the ‘Ask the Expert’ section, with answers to hard questions in a relevant, professional way . There is also a directory of local NFP professionals, doctors, etc. Search for CANFP in a search engine to find their website.

Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 8:02 AM By bud
Who edits the articles before publication? I’m a male and not that familiar with all of the abbreviations; just what the hell is NFP?

Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 8:56 AM By Maryanne Leonard
Good message delivered in the snarky tones of the entitled generation, who finds it charming to attack folks who were alive and well, adult and alert, participating in creating the world she was born into. Generation Entitled needs to appreciate us a bit more and go snarky barky on us a bit less, because ageism is not charming after all. She is also teaching the generation following her that it is cool to bite the ankles of the generation, act like you know everything and those who gave you life know nothing. She will be part of the jittery Twittery generation, so passe, mocked, shocked and rocked right out of their smug snarkiness, right there in front of God and everyone. One of the most satisfying pleasures of failing to die when the youngsters want us to, is living to see young people grow old enough to start to acquire grace, wisdom, perspective, humility and appreciation for everyone around them. Young, old or menopausal, as children of God, each of us has contributed. No human generation should be disrespected publicly, privately or at all just because another generation has come of age – thanks to the generations that came before it and thanks to the grace of God.

Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 9:08 AM By Larry
Maryanne Leonard: Didn’t we do that to our elders–who were the Great Depression/WWII generation? (Assuming you’re a Baby Boomer.)

Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 11:08 AM By k
but, natural family planning.

Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 11:40 AM By Catherine
Wisdom is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. What are some of the fine examples of the excellent fruits of the Holy Spirit? The answer is Maryanne Leonard’s 8:56 AM gem.

Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 1:46 PM By some other john
wow. i don’t know where to start. the underlying facts of this article include admission to premarital sex (she’s only married for a week, but is very familiar with the method) and the intentional use of natural family planning in the same way others use condoms and the pill (student loans, et al., well, boo hoo. kids aren’t all that expensive, if you don’t buy them designer jeans and cellphones.) it’s just embarrassing. as abundant as my sins are, i won’t jump on the internet and admit to them just to get a point across. this article seems more like an ad against the contraceptive profiteers (it’s free, healthy, and clean,) than the recommendation that good (married) people can space out child births, when that becomes necessary. and btw, i wouldn’t know a ‘laura ashley’ whatever, if it came up and bit me in the behind. if the message is missed because of the attire of the messanger, then you are just a fool. Heaven forbid, if St. Paul and the Apostles are depicted wearing tunics, instead of t-shirts and tennis shoes. anyhow, bottom line: don’t get on the internet and try to tell others that your fornication is somehow better than others, whatever your reasons.

Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 2:14 PM By Gordon Campbell
Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 7:05 AM By Becie “Good points (on education and disseminating facts), but a total lack of understanding of the proper attitude towards openness to life. The FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT function of marriage is to nurture new life (that’s one of the reasons “same-sex unions” are unlawful and against the moral code). To place education, thus student loans, above the primary reason of marriage displays a disordered hierarchy of values and ethics.“ She had been married for ONE week.She understands everything you stated or she would NOT USE NFP.I think discretion is the better part of valour and one should mind one`s own business as to her choice of the appropriate time for she,her husband,and God to create new life. Sometimes,actually oftimes MYOB is the course to follow.She sounds like a devout young Catholic woman who has made EXTREMELY valid points.Thank God for young people who take their Faith seriously.NFP will allow her to conceive when she is ready and allow her to space her children.I think you missed the whole point of her argument and the concept ofv NFP.

Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 2:20 PM By Dana
Way to go, Rose! Great post and I’m still smiling. I thought Ms.Zanotti’s post was very relevant and the church needs to address the gap between NOT offering anything of relevance in regard to birth control for two generations(especially from the pulpit which should have been a very informed and absolute NO) to what young people clearly are waiting and needing to hear. Just the looming menace of hormones from birth control pills in our public water supply should lead MANY people to rethink taking the pill, besides all the side affects, threat of strokes, breast cancer and a host of other ills. How do we get people to see pregnancy as a blessing once again and that Natural Family planning not only brings couples closer together, but also is highly effective and completely natural? I really think Rose is on to something. Stop approaching it all like it was taking cod liver oil and recommended by old fuddy duddies.

Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 2:23 PM By Gordon Campbell
Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 8:56 AM By Maryanne Leonard “Good message delivered in the snarky tones of the entitled generation, who finds it charming to attack folks who were alive and well, adult and alert, participating in creating the world she was born into. Generation Entitled needs to appreciate us a bit more and go snarky barky on us a bit less, because ageism is not charming after all. She is also teaching the generation following her that it is cool to bite the ankles of the generation, act like you know everything and those who gave you life know nothing. She will be part of the jittery Twittery generation, so passe, mocked, shocked and rocked right out of their smug snarkiness, right there in front of God and everyone. One of the most satisfying pleasures of failing to die when the youngsters want us to, is living to see young people grow old enough to start to acquire grace, wisdom, perspective, humility and appreciation for everyone around them. Young, old or menopausal, as children of God, each of us has contributed. No human generation should be disrespected publicly, privately or at all just because another generation has come of age – thanks to the generations that came before it and thanks to the grace of God.“ How JUDGEMENTAL and how dare you??????She is SPOT on with her criticisms.We treat sex likes it`s shameful instead of a JOY freely given by God to one married woman and man. I found her demeanour refreshing and candid.She is young and you deem her privileged and libeled her because she is young and has an irreverant writing style.How many articles have YOU published here?Pray for discernment.Search your soul that was a bitter unkind post.By the way I am 61 years old.

Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 2:38 PM By Gordon Campbell
Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 11:40 AM By Catherine “Wisdom is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. What are some of the fine examples of the excellent fruits of the Holy Spirit? The answer is Maryanne Leonard’s 8:56 AM gem.“ I could not disagree more.It was in my opinion,unkind,judgemental,bitter,and RESENTFUL.This young woman has spirit and I wonder how much her saucy photo had to do with certain visceral actions.She is a Catholic like YOU and she has her Catholic Suit on 24-7-365 according to this article.We need more like her. The posts were bordering on calumny since neither of you know her but are eager to attack her character and style NOT the gist of her message..I feel shame for both of you. “Thou shalt not take up a false report: put not thy hand with the wicked to be an unrighteous witness.“

Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 4:14 PM By Catherine
Gordon Campbell??, “saucy photo?” Your un-saucy post has all of the familiar rantings of the same ol’ group of un-saucy posters. Maryanne Leonard, I also admire your perseverance in dealing with old un-saucy posters!

Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 4:21 PM By Becie
Dear Mr. Campbell: Both of your posts are judgmental of the authors—you are doing what you accuse us of (Maryanne Leonard and myself). What I wrote is not my opinion, but Church teaching. If you can’t accept that, I’m sorry; Catholics cannot choose which parts of the faith to follow and be a true Catholic. How do you know the author understands everything I wrote? I thought only God could read minds and hearts. Thank God for women like her? I am only commenting on her choices for not bearing children, which it seems she doesn’t want to do, ever, according to the article. If all women were like her, there would be not little Catholics to carry on the faith.

Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 5:06 PM By Dana
Gordon, I confess, I was much struck by Ms. Zanotti’s photo…she’s as cute as a button and I thought at first she must be English as she seems to have a verve we often lack in this country. I’m sending her post to my daughter-in-law because she speaks eloquently for her generation, and though my d-i-l has left the church (with lots of issues and anger) it may be someone like this that brings her back. Also, though I think you’re being awfully hard on Maryanne & Catherine, I have to add that I absolutely love those gen exers and the 20 somethings. How they can be so upbeat and keep plugging along when we’ve left them an absolutely staggering mess just amazes me. As long as the JPII & BXVI generations carry on the flame that these two incredible men lit in their young hearts, there’s still hope. Thank you Jesus!

Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 6:19 PM By k
Am I understanding this correctly? She isn’t pregnant and does not ever want to be?

Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 6:46 PM By AARON
NFP is confusing to me … I thought it was to be used in matters of grave need… I didn’t work that right … sorry it’s been a long day. I thought NFP was to be used in circumstances where child bearing is not safe, etc… not for the purposes of avoiding marital responsibilities and living a “child free bliss”. Has NFP become ‘Catholic Birth Control’ just like some say Anullments in America have become ‘Catholic divorce’? Just curious what everyone’s take is on that. I thought NFP was approved for ‘dire circumstances’… Not for convenience in a materialistic and child aversive society…. Not making a judgement on the author here… Just trying to get this practice straight in my mind. Thanks!!

Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 6:50 PM By JLS
She sounds frustrated in finding that the world is not perfect. She also sounds alarmed about her profession of lawyering the marketing industry … she might want to read the part of the Book of the Apocalypse depicting the “great city” burning. Maybe then she could find a better law job than the marketplace … because she may be finding that she is now devoting her career to creating the civilization of distrust instead of one of trust. The Culture of Life is a trust civilization; whereas, the Culture of Death is a based on an ever expanding babble of laws for the purpose of taking faith away from the civilization.

Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 8:12 PM By mary 
John, Maryanne, and Emily, Let’s be a lilttle more charitable: Emily’s writing style is not mine or yours, and we ought to appreciate the efforts of those who proceeded us in time (and fashion!) to share the truth; nonetheless, the message needs to be presented in a way that it will be received or at least attended to. If we want to appeal to the young, who are surrounded by false teachers on this topic, we need to update the technology, presenters, and imagery especially in such a visual culture. My second point concerns the rash judgment that Emily was sexually active before her marriage. It is more than reasonable to assume that she was learning the NFP techniques regarding charting, etc. as preparation for her marriage–to hit the ground running, so to speak. Judge ideas, not people.

Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 8:15 PM By Maryanne Leonard
Gordon Campbell, I had to laugh at your post, calling me “unkind,judgemental,bitter,and RESENTFUL.” (sic), (sic), (sic), (sic). In case you don’t know, (sic) refers to errors one is forced to post when quoting someone else’s writing that is in error grammatically or in terms of spelling or punctuation; I am not calling you sick personally. I also find the content of your post amusing in that you took time to denounce my post and my character without bothering to offer any successful intellectual argumentation on the content of my opinions. You may be amused to learn that I too am a woman “who has spirit,” albeit an old woman. I could not care less about the author’s photo, which I barely noticed and certainly don’t consider “saucy,” although obviously you do. However, I consider her anti-older-women attitude sassy and un-Christian. I did speak to the gist of her message, which has a solitary point of merit, albeit minimal, but you obviously missed that. I reject and denounce your implying that I have “taken up a false report.” By admonishing me with the specific Biblical passage you selected, you are calling me an “unrighteous witness,” or, in other words, a liar. I invite you to disagree with me, correct me when I am wrong, argue with me, and even become upset with me if you like, but please go very, very slowly in calling me a “false reporter.” Assaults on character are taken very seriously. Be slow in casting the first stone without detecting outright error or falsehood. I feel no need for the shame you feel, supposedly on my behalf. I do find it odd that a 61-year-old man would call a photograph of a young, married Catholic woman “saucy” while imagining that I would feel shame for daring to criticize her snarky article as “snarky.” I could quote appropriate Biblical passages back to you but will let you examine your own conscience and decide for yourself what kind of Catholic man you wish to be. I wish you the grace of the Holy Spirit in so doing.

Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 8:19 PM By Bob One
Aaron, I am confused as well. Everyone I have ever known who used NFP (OK, all three of them) used it to prevent the wife from getting pregnant. Why else would you use it? Don’t kill the messanger, but contraception is a completed discussion in the U.S. 95+% of Catholic women of child bearing age use the pill or some other form of birth control, the same percentage as non-Catholic women. To be relevant to modern people, maybe its time to move on? To make contraception an issue above all other issues may at best turn people against the church and make it more irrelavant to the life of younger people. There are more important things to worry about: poverty, hungen, violance, lack of family cohesion, etc. Most people don’t get up in the morning wondering how the are going to go into the streets and put an end to contraceptives. In fact, to most women that is a laughable situation. They don’t think about it. Only the one percent on this site think about it. Just saying!

Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 9:42 PM By k
Bob One, you don’t understand the gravity of it. The punishment for it, while just, is unbearable. It is as bad as abortion. We will all see, when we die, the people who were not allowed to exist because of it and we will mourn like Rachel.

Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 9:56 PM By JLS
AARON, well said. The first command by God to man after the Fall was to make babies and raise families. It would seem that most of western Catholicism defies God in this matter. No wonder it is hard to find a faithful priest, bishop or nun. Why should God give us His best clergy when we trample on Him? As the Pope says, the bishops need to “become holy”. How are they going to do that alone, without the laity becoming holy also?

Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 9:59 PM By JLS
Bob One, I had thought you were Catholic, but after your post pushing contraception, I realize you are exactly like the Jews who perverted the Law and Will of God and who crucified Jesus. You’re a whited sepulchre filled with dead men’s bones, just like both Jesus and St Paul described such people as you represent … temple leaders who have zero faith and go which ever way the wind blows.

Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 11:11 PM By AARON
Bob, I appreciate your humble manner and ‘matter of factness’… Made me laugh… I guess I’m one of the few that struggle with this sort of stuff…. But many of the ‘rest of the few’ make up the readership of publications like California Catholic… Many are faithful and practicing Catholics. I don’t claim to be righteous or even good… But I AM burdened with moral issues like birth control(I’m a pharmacist) and I DO think that we should not water down the truth to attempt appealing to the youth. I was just telling my boss today that people can smell bull@#$%… People want to hear it straight. Our youth are no different than we were at that age…. Yearning for that which is real. Real things like the fact that hormonal contraception is abortifacient in mechanism… Or that homosexuality is wrong… Or that cohabitation is destructive and sinful… They yearn for this sort of stuff… They need to hear it straight so that they might navigate this crazy sea called the world… So… NFP is a wonderful tool… To be used in times of dire need… Like a firearm…. Not a squirt gun…. It’s for dire need not for fun! I think the best way to think about it is this… Imagine that you are standing in front of God and He asked you why it is that you chose to limit your family to 1 or 2 or 3 children… And your answer was one of lifestyle…. Or career…. Or that 5th wheel or vacation…. Or even a noble purpose… Or for ‘years of child free bliss’… His response may well be characterized by sadness… Parenthood, after all, was designed to be for His AND our good.. EVEN a life full of bliss!!

Posted Tuesday, May 22, 2012 12:54 AM By Gordon Campbelln
Posted Monday, May 21, 2012 4:21 PM By Becie Dear Mr. Campbell: Both of your posts are judgmental of the authors—you are doing what you accuse us of (Maryanne Leonard and myself). What I wrote is not my opinion, but Church teaching. If you can’t accept that, I’m sorry; Catholics cannot choose which parts of the faith to follow and be a true Catholic. How do you know the author understands everything I wrote? I thought only God could read minds and hearts. Thank God for women like her? I am only commenting on her choices for not bearing children, which it seems she doesn’t want to do, ever, according to the article. If all women were like her, there would be not little Catholics to carry on the faith. “I am only commenting on her choices for not bearing children, which it seems she doesn’t want to do, ever, according to the article.“Absolute BALDERDASH which you manufactured in your mind-you are judging her on your presumptions and personal conjectures.There is not a whit of evidence in her post to back up what I can only refer to kindly as FANTASY about her planning to not EVER have children.I take this opportunity to advise you to live YOUR life and NOT hers.It is her and her husbands choice through the CHURCH ENDORSED NFP method WHEN NOT IF she will have babies.Honestly go back and read the article and reread your post.You should be MORTIFIED. You have posted ABSOLUTE libel.I did not contradict ONE teaching of the Magisterium nor the Catechism-to pretend to hide behind the Church to justify your calumny both to the author and myself is truly unCatholic and despicable.I am shocked that you had the nerve to make that post.Please speak with your Priest or Spiritual Advisor about this because I can feel Pride RADIATING from you.Pridefulness leads to the Holier-than -thou syndrome.I`m shocked at your prideful post.You are a sinner like anyone else Lady.Please read the Biography of St Therese of Lisieux and see how she overcame the affliction of Pridefulness.

Posted Tuesday, May 22, 2012 1:36 AM By Mrs.Campbell-Gordon’
My husband and I use NFP all through our marriage.We have 3 children and are overjoyed.We were able to NATURALLY plan them and art a pace that was the most efficacious for US.Stop judging this girl. NFP is THE only means of planning your family which the Church heartily endorses.A little abstinence does not hurt and no one ever died from not having sex for a week or two-cuddling is a lot of fun too.We may have more but the decision will be OURS and God’s NO ONE ELSE’s.My mom and Dad used the Rhythm Method which was way more difficult to employ effectively.My husband might be sixty-one but I am young enough to conceive and there’s a blazing fire in HIS furnace.

Posted Tuesday, May 22, 2012 2:30 AM By KS in Seattle
Bob One- (1) Having practiced NFP for some time now, I can tell you first hand that selectively choosing to abstain is very different in form, function and philosophy than using “barriers to block” or “chemicals to kill.” For one thing, the couple, while seeking — in a spirit of prayer and discernment — to delay pregnancy for grave reasons, ultimately remains open to life and chooses thus to cooperate with God’s grace. And sometimes His will differs from our own! Our youngest sleeps in her cradle this moment because we on one occasion went against the chart, if you will. And while it seemed to us, thinking in a purely secular plane, to be the worst time to add to our family, the truth is that the exuberance and joy that radiates in this home of 3 children (instead of 2) comes despite the clear financial and professional challenges that resulted from — dare I say it — an unplanned pregnancy! (2) You say, I quote “in the U.S. 95+% of Catholic women of child bearing age use the pill or some other form of birth control,..” In the spirit of truth and goodwill, I’d ask you to double check your statistic. As stated, it just is not true. (3) The beauty of Catholic Social Teaching is that it clearly includes all the concerns you list, and more. And the current pervasiveness of artificial birth control doesn’t by itself make it good social policy and certainly doesn’t make it good for women’s health. Relevant to younger people? Bob, you sell young people short!

Posted Tuesday, May 22, 2012 4:20 AM By Mary
Bob One – in the Catholic Church we don’t vote on what is and is not sinful. We merely need better catechesis along with the reasons “why”. Again, this falls within the purview of each Diocese Bishop and Priest to do their job. CCC: ” 2370 Periodic continence, that is, the methods of birth regulation based on self-observation and the use of infertile periods, is in conformity with the objective criteria of morality. These methods respect the bodies of the spouses, encourage tenderness between them, and favor the education of an authentic freedom. In contrast, “every action which, whether in anticipation of the conjugal act, or in its accomplishment, or in the development of its natural consequences, proposes, whether as an end or as a means, to render procreation impossible” is intrinsically evil: Thus the innate language that expresses the total reciprocal self-giving of husband and wife is overlaid, through contraception, by an objectively contradictory language, namely, that of not giving oneself totally to the other. This leads not only to a positive refusal to be open to life but also to a falsification of the inner truth of conjugal love, which is called upon to give itself in personal totality. . . . The difference, both anthropological and moral, between contraception and recourse to the rhythm of the cycle . . . involves in the final analysis two irreconcilable concepts of the human person and of human sexuality. “

Posted Tuesday, May 22, 2012 6:47 AM By JLS
Emily is clearly reflecting on a profound issue and her situation in this world and the next. She should be encouraged to do so … She should also add some Catholic Doctrinal and spiritual material to her library. Be interesting if a marketing lawyer can somehow rise above the smoke and mirrors of that lifestyle.

Posted Tuesday, May 22, 2012 8:38 AM By John Hinshaw
I am in total agreement with Emily that we need to do a better job at presenting NFP. It is an idea matching the needs of the age. Aside from the sneers of the dominant culture, NFP has been kept at a distance from the ministries of the Catholic Church. When a Bishop finally insists on it being part of Marriage Preparation (as is happening now) the presenters are very uncomfortable with the topic and present it all too briefly and apologizingly (not Apologetically). Help us Emily.

Posted Tuesday, May 22, 2012 9:42 AM By MAC
Emily, the reason that more people do not know about NFP is the same reason that they do not know about the CCC. Diocese Bishops and Pastors do not do their duty in teaching and requiring all to read the CCC.

Posted Tuesday, May 22, 2012 9:52 AM By Brian S
Ms Zanotti’s sensible observations are spot-on, and jumping to personal criticisms, and especially speculating on matters properly between her and her confessor in no way helps advance Church teachings. But contrary to some postings here, the Church does not require that “dire needs” or dire circumstances” are required to justify the use of natural birth control. In paragraph 16 of Humane Vitae Paul VI requires only “well-grounded reasons” and those in the context of better serving the “harmony and peace of a family” and of providing “more suitable conditions” for education. It should not be surprising that the Church respects parents, or that the formation of their judgements are properly private.

Posted Tuesday, May 22, 2012 9:57 AM By JLS
St Paul explains that married couples have two options: One is sex and the other is prayer. The Apostle to the Gentiles does not condition his instruction with the regulation of conception. Thus, the argument over birth regulation would remain covered by God’s initial commandment to bear children and raise them. So, the two options are either prayer or children … pays your dues, takes your choice.

Posted Tuesday, May 22, 2012 12:03 PM By Maryanne Leonard
Good night, now we have to hear about the blazing fire in Mr. Gordon Campbell’s furnace? Excuse me, but that is a sickening thought. If I were an English teacher, I would be absolutely amazed at how similar “Mrs.” Gordon Campbell’s style of writing is to that of Mr. Gordon Campbell. She/he has also has also adopted Mr. Gordon Campbell’s exceptional style of punctuation, which is so uniquely out of sync with that of the rest of the English-speaking world that I would have imagined it to be Mr. Gordon Campbell’s alone. Is it not remarkable how similar people become to one another after even the shortest period of time married? After all, how long could they have been married, with her being so amazingly young to have chosen such an elderly husband, being virtually a child bride and all. Well, sometimes the young will listen to their elders and learn from them, perhaps more so when the two have merged into one, as with Mr. and Mrs. Gordon Campbell. Scientifically speaking, it is utterly astonishing what a truly loving man can accomplish when he sets the blazing fire that is his mind to merging with even an imaginary other, scientifically speaking, that is.

Posted Tuesday, May 22, 2012 10:13 PM By AARON
ALRIGHTY THEN!!!!

Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2012 7:54 AM By Emily
Hello! I am very much enjoying all of the comments on my piece for IT. The response I have had and the information I have received has been overwhelming and I think it has truly been a blessing. To address one thing, though: I did not admit to any sins of the flesh in this article. You chart for NFP long before you “need” it. My familiarity with my cycle is entirely because of my faithful practice and endeavor to understand my body and its natural processes ahead of my wedding.

Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2012 11:39 AM By k
Emily, did we understand you to say that your intention is to remain child-free? Thanks for posting.

Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2012 3:29 PM By JLS
k, Emily is saying clearly that she did not “admit” to any sins of the flesh. C’mon, look at her picture; she is not very old, and what she is saying reflects that fact. She obviously has some topical idea that she is responsible for making the best of her life. She along with countless others have to do this mostly in ever compressing population centers. Think sardine can robotics, k. This is the future as it is unfolding now. She has to decide what is in store for her as she decides about having babies — Notice she is a lawyer for a marketing firm: Think pressure; think extreme lifestyle regulation forced by the circumstances; think of varying the style by pushing the social acceptable limit of 2.00310779 children; k, think how her peers and bosses would be inclined to throw business her way if they were to notice a proclivity in her favoring children. Would she be given that big program to run when obviously there’d be a greater risk that she’d have to take maternity leave and then bring babies to work with her for years? No, of course not, because it would burst the sardine can. Then what would all the ceo’s colleagues hmm about, huh? Yep, they’d laugh him or her off the putting greens for years. What might that do for business, but cause the company to disintegrate … hundreds of other workers would then be out of work. It would destroy the economy and the civilization. Why, k, humanity would be back where it started from, which is in the caves eating dinosaur meat and dragging women around by the hair, while battling cave bears for survival. Then what, k? Would we then find you arriving to the rescue with your copy of the CCC2ndEdition (and white cape)? Of course she might in the meantime have left the big tent and become an ardently enthusiastic Catholic who could give a hoot about all the fuss about her fifteen kids (by then) … that’s the good news; bad news is she’d be on welfare and have to sell kids to slave traders just to keep th

Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2012 7:32 PM By Abeca Christian
Emily ignore the negative comments, it’s good that people can talk about NFP. It is something that needs to be talked about. God bless you.

Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2012 7:34 PM By Bob One
Just for the record, I didn’t promote or endorse any form of child bearing prevention. I just reported my observation about it and how others might think about it. Oh yes, JLS, I am Catholic and always have been. Pretty orthodox too.

Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2012 10:33 PM By k
Bob One, thank you for clarifying.

Posted Wednesday, May 23, 2012 10:49 PM By Marjorie Campbell
Let me throw into this lovely mix of discussioin an idea I had a few years back … that NFP is, itself, mysoginist. Kate Wicker disagreed. You can get the scoop by googling “Campbell Wicker NFP’ since comments at this site won’t accept a URL (Why???) All in all, it’s a great discussion to be having. Let’s all hang in there and duke it out!

Posted Thursday, May 24, 2012 1:14 PM By Brian S
Those seeking the reconversion of society should be enthusiastically welcoming constructive suggestions on how to effectively engage with it, so why are folks being crabby here? Not just Catholics “buy only organically-grown vegetables” and the worry about the “hazards of dumping AA batteries in your kitchen trash”, so why shouldn’t we address folks who think that ingesting chemicals to interfere with hormonal processes is a BAD idea, if not a sinful one? Getting closer to the truth is a good thing, and the truth has a magnetic effect of its own.

Posted Thursday, May 24, 2012 2:19 PM By k
Marjorie Campbell, I knew a NFP instructor who told me that all the people in her classes were couples who were trying to get pregnant, not avoid it.

Posted Thursday, May 24, 2012 3:41 PM By JLS
So, Bob One, you’re saying that you’re pretty and also orthodox? From your posts, it would be obvious that you believe so.

Posted Friday, May 25, 2012 1:39 PM By Abeca Christian
JLS your sense of humor is good. So to you men does pretty mean wearing make up or without?