The following comes from an April 13 Angelus article by Julie Schnieders:
Lifelong Catholic Mark Padilla never expected to get divorced. Like most married couples, Padilla thought his first marriage would be his last.
Married in 1988, his marriage started showing strains in the mid-90s. Then, in 1997, his wife moved out. A year later, they divorced.
The divorce proved to be devastating to Padilla and his three children.
“I lost everything, my business and my home. It was not a pleasant experience,” Padilla told The Tidings.
After the divorce, Padilla sought an annulment from the Church.
“I wanted to get married again in the Catholic Church and receive the Holy Eucharist. To me, it was the right thing to do,” he said.
“It was difficult. It took me a year to go through the questions, to write and think about them,” Padilla said. “It was very therapeutic. The questions that were asked, what led us to the divorce … surprised me. It was a process of reconciliation,” he said.
Following his annulment, Padilla began to put his life back together. He moved back to Montebello, close to St. Anthony’s Church, where he went to parochial school and which is now his home parish.
In 2000, the “Great Jubilee” year in the Catholic Church, Padilla had what he calls a “reversion.” He began the journey back to his Catholic faith by seeking spiritual direction from Father Pat Brennan, then at the Passionist Mater Dolorosa Retreat Center in Sierra Madre. Father Brennan encouraged him to listen to Catholic radio.
“It was Catholic radio that helped me rebuild my faith as an adult. It led me to Bible Study, too,” he said.
He has been chapter president for San Gabriel Valley Knights of Columbus and was the Culture of Life chairperson for the state of California. He was instrumental in the referendum against the physician assisted-suicide petition and for parental notification in Southern California.
Padilla has been happily remarried to his wife, Lisa, for 14 years. They have two children together. He is determined to break the cycle of divorce and despair for his two youngest children, Anthony, 14, and Trinity, 3, who has Down syndrome.
Padilla is currently working on pre-production for a film about parental notification called “Notice.” The film is based on Padilla’s own experiences and the stories he heard while gathering signatures for the petition to allow parent notification when a minor seeks an abortion.
“I do all the things I do to teach the youth, to teach our culture that divorce doesn’t work and that there is healing. There is life after and to help youth avoid the mistakes that my generation made,” he said.
One may heal from divorce, but the scars will remain forever here on Earth Ave Maria Purrissima !
I’ve always thought there are two types of situations where annulments ought to be almost automatic. We have a family friend whose wife decided one day she wanted to end the marriage. He really loved her, didn’t want to divorce and said “Honey, I’ll do anything to keep our family together.” Her answer was “Yes but I won’t.” The other is when there is extreme physical or psychological abuse of the spouse, and especially of any children. I can’t believe Christ would insist that someone stay in these situations and not be able to find love, and security for themselves, and especially their children with another.
He doesn’t say why the marriage began to fail and why his wife wanted the divorce. Psychiatric illness? Failure to keep love alive? Always getting and not giving? Alcohol? Drugs?
He should write a love letter to his wife everyday and beg her to return and get counseling together.
Cathy, sometimes “chasing” a wayward spouse is just the wrong thing to do. It is for those who love the “thrill of the chase” and those are many. It is often better to let them know one can live with or without them and get on with ones life. Many times they come crawling back because they realize what they lost. If not one still has ones dignity and love for God to carry one through the tough times.
This, of course, would depend on the situation. If a wife or husband leaves because of a lack of attention your letter writing might work, but if the person is not interested and/or was bored with the marriage, what I said is better.
This should become a sermon for every priest to read during Sunday Mass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There are so many facets to this insidious wound (divorce) to our culture and Church …BUT the good news is there is help and hope through the Church. Please let your loved ones know of lots of good stuff at CatholicsDivorce.com; all faithful to Church teachings!
As is frequently the case, I’m confused. For whatever reasons [which are none of my business] the first wife moved out in 1997. The divorce ensued the next year.
A subsequent paragraph says ” … happily remarried to his wife Lisa for 14 years.”
Did he and first wife reconcile? Why say ‘remarried’?
As I understand it, an annulment means the subject marriage never existed. So marriage to Lisa is ‘first’ marriage. Why say remarried???