Nearly three quarters of Catholics in the United States are not opposed to couples cohabiting before marriage, despite the Church’s moral teaching.
A new survey by the Pew Research Center, released Nov. 6, reports that Americans as a whole are very accepting of unmarried couples living together, even if they have no plans to marry. Additionally, Pew found that a shrinking percentage of adults are getting married, and an increasing number of adults have decided to cohabit.
Of the people surveyed, 69% said they believed it was acceptable for an unmarried couple to live together, without any plans to eventually wed.
Catholics and white mainline Protestants had nearly identical rates of approval of cohabitation–the survey found that 74% of Catholics and 76% of white Protestants who do not claim to be born-again or evangelical were okay with an unmarried couple cohabitating. Conversely, this figure dropped to 47% for black Protestants and 35% for white evangelical Protestants.
During the Fall 2013 USCCB General Assembly, Cardinal Sean O’Malley spoke to CNA about the reasons why couples are increasingly turning to cohabit. O’Malley cited financial instability–particularly student loans–as well as cultural norms as for why this was the case.
The cardinal noted that “the whole notion of family is so undercut by the cohabitation mentality,” and that these social trends are having a tremendous impact on the working-class communities “who were once the backbone of the Church.”
Full story at Catholic News Agency.
Sure it is, but not with God. That is, fornication, is a mortal sin, each and every time.
Why don’t parish priests mention this? They are cowards because their bishops are cowards. Sexual immorality, especially homosexual sexual activity, will be the pathway to perdition for many. Who said this? Besides the Bible, the source for this is Mary.
Parents won’t tell their kids this is sinful because they also lived together before marriage. They refuse to acknowledge their own sin, and their children suffer from lack of moral leadership. One amoral generation leading another, and ultimately, to hell.
This Father has two daughters that were told ” if you want a guy to test drive you like a brand new car to see if you’re the model they may want, then live with him “. It is one thing when they had to listen too me, it is another when you have to answer too our Heavenly Father. ” This has worked for my wife and I and both of our daughters are devout Catholics in there early 20’s. I also admitted to them that there Father prior to marriage was terrible with women and to trust me when it comes to this subject because of my deep Love for them. This is not a bragging moment for me, it’s about what’s expected from him.
The Church has failed to teach and uphold Christian Morality, since the Council! Young people today– and their parents and families– often have no moral and religious training at all! They also have no training in good speech, dress, and manners, and many are extremely rude, crude, coarse, and selfish! Worse than a corrupt, crime-ridden, sex, dope and filth-infested dark alley, in a poor, illiterate Third World country! The anti-society, anti-Christian, anti-American beatniks, hippies, rock “music” groups, dope gangs, feminists, LGBTs, Freud-worshiping psychologists, and sick liberals in academia– have destroyed our once-great Nation! We need to reclaim it! Traditional Christian Marriage and the Family, with children– is the heart of our Nation, Church, and of civilization! The two complementary genders of Man and Woman, and the roles in Traditional Marriage, of Husband, Wife, Mother and Father– are of God, and are sacred! To commit the sin of sex outside Marriage and live for Satanic selfishness– “worse than animals”– is extremely destructive!
This is one more example of why the new evangelization is needed so desperately. As Pope Saint John Paul taught, what’s new is not the gospel message, rather its intended audience, the baptized. The new evangelization starts with us Catholics.
I’m not clear on why the Cardinal would emphasize economics, specifically student debt. My wife, I and our adult children incurred student debt. That didn’t make any of us have sex.
I think about my family members who cohabitated. They knew it was wrong and they really were ashamed of it. If just one of their parents had said, “Please don’t do that.”, they wouldn’t have done it. Sometimes, your kids want you to say no.
Here is what your parents should say:
Have self respect. If someone wants you to shack up, say no. If they really like you, they will put a ring on it. God loves you and if this person leaves you because you say no, there is a better person out there for you.
As a longtime Sacramental preparation catechist (First Holy Communion/ First Confession), I can speculate that one of the main reasons that 76% of Catholics are OK with cohabitation is that the only catechesis that a Catholic usually gets happens at an age when marriage is mentioned but without details. Matters of sexuality are not addressed. I am not familiar with whether these matters are brought up in Confirmation preparation. So in my classes aimed at children and young teens no discussion of why homosexual activity is wrong, nothing about gender dysphoria, nothing about divorce or cohabitation, nothing about contraception. Abortion may be mentioned in passing, but the catechist doesn’t want to dive too deep into those waters. Besides the immaturity of the learners, there is concern that their feelings may be hurt if they perceive that, whoops, that is my family that the catechist is talking about, indirectly of course. In catechetical situations where parents are expected to attend a separate session while their children are in class, this arrangement presents a perfect opportunity to give parents the full Gospel message on sexuality and marriage. Ideally the pastor himself should speak on his availability to counsel couples on getting straightened out regarding their marital status. I have seen this done to a certain extent, but unfortunately without the pastor appearing. I have to admit I have never heard a homily on the sins of premarital sex, cohabitation, or homosexual lifestyles, or irregular marriages, except on EWTN, bless them. Why? I would guess that it is for fear of offending. Pope Francis, with his famous Laudato Si footnote, has further muddied the waters.
In the very early 1970s, (prior to Roe vs. Wade) the young pastor of a parish near a major university, told us that he was going to be the homilist, at all five Sunday Masses, and his topic would be the Sacrament of Marriage, and premarital sex and cohabitation. He said that he expected some young Massgoers to “protest,” and walk out.. However, in years to come– he predicted that many, with age and experience– would eventually return to the Church. At least, they would receive correct teaching! We went to hear his sermon– and saw the “walk-outs”– only a few, but scary! During the 1960s onward, there should have been lots of Catholic teaching, preaching, invitations to Confession– and tons of practical help and support for youth, on sex, Marriage, children– and the sanctity of life!
Many Catholics who did not agree with Church teaching, used to respect the Church, and accept the differences between themselves and the Church– and would never dare impose themselves on the Church– demanding acceptance for their immoral and heretical beliefs– and even scandalously present themselves for Holy Communion, like Joe Biden! People used to have much more respect!
It used to be said, and will always be true– a truly fine young man of any religion, will always respect his date, have good manners and self-control– and take care, never to place her near to mistreatment, degredation, sin, or loss of reputation. He will likewise always protect his sisters from harm. Virginity is sacred– and to give yourself to God and to your beloved spouse, on your Wedding Day! And next– to establish a Christ-like, loving, warm, family home, with children– in which Christ and Our Blessed Mother are loved and honored!
I’m sorry O’Malley, but financial reasons or student loans is not an excuse. Many of us lived with roommates after college or even back with our parents, did in home care or something rather then live with someone we were are dating or not married too. Hollywood and now the internet made adultery acceptable, and we all stood by and watched.
So glad PEW is at least willing to talk about our sins, even if most Catholics aren’t, including some priests. Why should they when we allow sin in our own families and say nothing.
Why is the faith not catching on? It’s obvious, it means very little to most people accept being a place they go out of habit, or to attend social events like the spagetti dinner or school auction.
The Church has not stopped teaching that cohabitation is a sin. Look around at your fellow parishioners. The priests do not preach on this topic because most of their congregants are already married or considerably beyond their dating days.
Not at my parish. And yes even a few unwed mothers are there with their kids working to raise them in the faith. The high school students will hear too if pastors share the good news. Sin does not free you but enslaves you. Kids and adults need to be reminded.