The following comes from a Dec. 13 story in the Washington Post.
When Eve Tushnet converted to Catholicism in 1998, she thought she might be the world’s first celibate Catholic lesbian.
Having grown up in a liberal, upper Northwest Washington home before moving on to Yale University, the then-19-year-old knew no other gay Catholics who embraced the church’s ban on sex outside heterosexual marriage. Her decision to abstain made her an outlier.
“Everyone I knew totally rejected it,” she said of the church’s teaching on gay sexuality.
Today, Tushnet is a leader in a small but growing movement of celibate gay Christians who find it easier than before to be out of the closet in their traditional churches because they’re celibate. She is busy speaking at conservative Christian conferences with other celibate Catholics and Protestants and is the most well-known of 20 bloggers who post on spiritualfriendship.org, a site for celibate gay and lesbian Christians that draws thousands of visitors each month.
Celibacy “allows you to give yourself more freely to God,” said Tushnet (rhymes with RUSH-net), a 36-year-old writer and resident of Petworth in the District. The focus of celibacy, she says, should be not on the absence of sex but on deepening friendships and other relationships, a lesson valuable even for people in heterosexual marriages.
Celibate Christian LGBT people are stepping out into the open for the same reason LGBT people in general are: Society has become so much more accepting, including in religious circles. But among conservative Christians, efforts toward more acceptance have collided with the basic teaching that sex belongs only among married men and women. The celibacy movement helps reconcile those concerns.
However, they are also met with criticism from many quarters, including from other gays and lesbians who say celibacy is both untenable and a denial of equality.
“We’ve been told for so long that there’s something wrong with us,” said Arthur Fitzmaurice, resource director of the Catholic Association for Lesbian and Gay Ministry. Acceptance in exchange for celibacy “is not sufficient,” he said. “There’s a perception that [LGBT] people who choose celibacy are not living authentic lives….”
To read the entire story, click here.
Can someone explain why people who have a homosexual orientation feel the need to announce it to the world? Those of us who are heterosexually oriented do not feel the need to tell everyone about it. As Catholics, regardless of our sexuality, we are obliged to lead chaste and celibate lives outside of a lawful marriage. The sixth and ninth commandments apply equally to everyone. We must obey all ten commandments. One should also avoid the occasion of sin by associating with others who lead chaste lives, not those who might lead us into sin.
DEAR SARAH:
If you have ever been married, have you ever put framed photos of your husband and kids on your desk at work? Why the need to announce it to the world?
Just as being Straight (i.e. heterosexual) is a fundamental part of who you are, shaping your social interactions and your family life. It’s far more than the gender of the person you have sex with. Likewise with people who are Gay. Just because a person is celibate doesn’t mean they’ve become merely asexual. Why should Gay people hide who they are simply because of your discomfort?
Sarah, perhaps I can help here. I assume you are married? Or you are dating someone? Therefore, every time you present yourself in public with your husband or boyfriend you announce your sexual orientation to the world. Almost every time we see a tear jerker love story, it is about people who announce their sexual orientation to the world. Every time you receive a couples discount on your museum membership, or your tax returns, or even your AARP membership, you announce your sexual orientation to the world to a greater or lesser degree. Every time you introduce your husband at a Christmas party, you are outing yourself as straight. Does that help?
This is not an answer to anything, “Your Fellow Catholic,” except to yourself and your camp, that shouts constantly: hey, over here!! All of you must accept us and our sexual activities as “normal”.
“Sarah” voices what many feel — keep this to yourself, it is personal. Having said that, Sarah might agree that a public witness, in the appropriate context, of a penitent homosexual can have value for all Catholics. It is unclear whether Ms. Tushnet is such a penitent homosexual, but at least she is recognizes the incongruity of being a practicing Catholic and a practicing homosexual.
In any event, Ms. Tushnet can certainly receive the sacraments if she is chaste, goes to confession, and advocates adherence to Catholic teachings. Your “help” remains nothing more than another attempt to preach the “unfairness” of any limitations on homosexual sexual behavior placed by the Church.
Too bad that the Supreme Court agreed that states cannot control such perversion. Bestiality, adult incest, multiple partner marriages, and other things may well soon to follow (to paraphrase Justice Scalia in the Lawrence v. Texas case). Homosexual sexual behavior is death for the soul; Ms. Tushnet is wise to recognize this.
YFC, I am not married. I am divorced.
I feel no need to run round, join parades and wave specific flags stating that I am a heterosexual.
There are many single persons who are heterosexual and not married.
Priests, Nuns, Singles of all ages, and those who are divorced and not remarried.
I suggest you think before you post. You are very fixed on behavioral sodomy.
YFC, there are probably more singles in the Church than marrieds.
I am single (divorced) and not remarried. I have no intention of getting a boyfriend.
Singles include;
Bishops, Priests, Nuns, Single persons of all ages, Divorced and not remarried, and a small percentage of those with same sex attraction.
We do not feel a need to promote anything. We do not feel the need to march in a parade to promote a sexual appetite. We do not feel the need to carry a specific flag denoting that we are living a celibate life.
You are confusing legitimately married persons with all other persons who are single – celibate.
It does seem to be the rabid homosexuals who run around saying “poor me”.
I am a single celibate Catholic and I sit in the pews week after week while we call up the married folk to celebrate their anniversaries, their marriages, their children, their baptisms, etc.
It’s okay. I can relate to Jesus. I can relate to others. I can relate to the struggles that others have in a sex-saturated culture. No, our church does not seem to have a way of celebrating the lives of the chaste Catholic singles in our midst. At least, not yet. But I will be praying for the same sex attracted, that one day they will realize that Jesus is what it is all about, not whether or not one is married in this life. It’s about the sacraments we can receive: baptism, confirmation, Holy Eucharist, Reconciliation, etc. This goes for the divorced who need to remain chaste. Life is more than sexual orientation. Life can be a struggle but Jesus is the answer to it all.
OneoftheSheep: ” I sit in the pews week after week while we call up the married folk to celebrate their anniversaries, their marriages, their children, their baptisms, etc.”
Could you please tell me where you can find this behavior as approved in GIRM during the Mass ? I could not find it.
GIRM on the Vatican web site: https://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/ccdds/documents/rc_con_ccdds_doc_20030317_ordinamento-messale_en.html
GIRM on the USCCB web site:
https://www.usccb.org/prayer-and-worship/the-mass/general-instruction-of-the-roman-missal/
Priests have no authority to make any changes or adlib during the Mass.
If you can not find anything, ask your Priest to show you where it is in GIRM. :)
Give credit to those who are living the Catholic faith, i wish many of our Bishops and clergy had their integrity putting JESUS first in their lives instead of all the other isms.
Eve is a very, very intelligent woman. Reading her and Melinda Selmeys (a Catholic writer in a “mixed orientation” marriage) can be helpful in understanding the variety of perspectives among LGBT Catholics.
“I am a single celibate Catholic and I sit in the pews week after week while we call up the married folk to celebrate their anniversaries, their marriages, their children, their baptisms, etc.”
Friend, I admire your humble attitude about being left out of such major events. It’s true that we single & celibate Catholics can feel ignored, but of course that’s true of widows also – especially if they never had children.
The Catholic Church sometimes forms “support groups” for people who are widowed, or homosexual, or whose spouse have divorced them, so that they can find some sort of smaller “community” to share their faith and feel more at home with their struggles and joys – including the joy of celibacy!
So, if people wonder why gay people talk about their gayness (or whatever it’s called), maybe this is why: they, like single & widowed people, need support, guidance, and fellowship to live out their Catholic celibacy.
Any celibate Catholic who feels a need for a support group, should present a proposal to their Pastor.
“Courage” can help those with same sex attraction and their family members.
https://couragerc.org/
The General Instruction of the Roman Missal (GIRM) for the OF Mass does not call for all the human celebrations that you mentioned, and are out of order during Mass.
Other than the Eucharist, the other Sacraments are separate from the Mass.
You might also want to consider attending the EF Mass (aka Latin/Traditional) there are usually far less abuses of the Mass.
There are far more celibate Catholics that those you mentioned. Don’t forget the divorced and civilly remarried persons who want to receive the Sacraments are living as brother and sister.
All the following are expected to live a celibate life.
All Priests, Brothers; Nuns;
All single persons of all ages;
All persons with same sex attraction;
All widowed persons;
All divorced and civilly remarried persons who have not obtained an annulment and had their marriage blessed in the Church – if they choose to receive the Sacraments. (Actually this is called continence.)
1 Cor 7:8-9; and 1 Cor 7:32-35
The Vocation of the unmarried can be very Holy.
Trojan Horse.
To follow Jesus, means you are not interested or focused on the animal instinct of sex, nor on other vulgar, bodily desires! Ms. Tushnet is right! You are to see others as Jesus did, with pure and chaste eyes, and a heart of God’s Love! Sex is an instinct, and a responsibility, of the Sacrament of Marriage. A true follower of Christ, gives up the world, and all its absurd, ignorant, “fallen” beliefs, and gives up all selfishness, to humbly and lovingly serve God! All Christians are called to the Virtue of Chastity, according to their state in life. We are to seek God, in all that we do! And if we live rightly– God will provide all that is necessary, so that we will go to Heaven! No one should envy others, for any reason! What if the “successful,” pretty married lady with kids, envied by a lonesome lesbian, sitting next to them at Mass– is actually a grieving, new widow, penniless and desperate?? One must never envy anyone! Chastity is a priceless virtue— an excellent gift of God, to help you get to Heaven!
I hope people will take time to also read an opposing view on Eve Tushnet’s “embrace of her sexuality” from a more orthodox Catholic perspective:
https://www.josephsciambra.com/2014/11/why-i-have-problem-with-eve-tushnet-and.html
Eve is entitled to her views, it’s just a question as to whether hers is actually a Catholic one. “We’ve been told for so long that there’s something wrong with us.” Like it or not, the Catechism does refer to same sex attraction as a “disorder”=something IS wrong with you.
Let’s remember that temptations are not sins. We each have different temptations.
Temptations have no power over us, unless we give in to them.
Dismiss temptations from your mind immediately, and ask Jesus to help you.
Adultery, fornication, homosexual acts, masturbation, viewing pornography are all MORTAL SINS and must be confessed prior to receiving Holy Communion – with a firm purpose of amendment not to commit the sin(s) again.