“I am a queer Catholic. When will the church feel like home?” This question was posed by a young woman named Grace Doerfler in a recent essay in America magazine. As someone who once lived life as a gay man and who has now converted to the Catholic Church and found there a welcome home, I am always interested in those who identify as LGBTQ and argue that the Catholic Church is not a home for them. These narratives are always the same: the only conversion that is ever discussed in these sorts of complaints is how the Church needs to change to suit them.
Doerfler’s essay is no different. She begins by letting her readers know that though she is Catholic, she has felt more comfortable of late in an Episcopalian Church because, as she tells us, “I often question if I can truly find home in this church, which often seems to go to great lengths to make people who love the way I do feel unwelcome in the Body of Christ.” In her essay, she speaks in flowery “spiritualese” of her Catholic faith and her “queer” identity:
As someone who identifies as both Catholic and queer, I deeply believe there is a connection between our words and our lives. Through my Catholicism, I have faith that language is a holy space in which we encounter the divine. It was through the Word becoming flesh that God chose to encounter her people; it was with a word that Jesus offered healing and grace; in naming, we commit to relationship with God.
Similarly, for many L.G.B.T.Q. people, the process of coming out can hold a certain sacramentality. Each disclosure of our identities (for those of us who are able to come out) is a leap of faith. Breaking the silence can allow the inbreaking of the Spirit…
Leaving aside her provocative (and heretical) use of the word “her” to describe God—or why a Jesuit-run magazine would allow such heterodox nonsense to appear in their magazine—she is right that in Catholicism there is a connection “between our words and our lives.” Consider the importance of the words said at Baptism where changing one word, from “I baptize you,” to “we baptize you,” makes the sacrament invalid.
I also agree with her that in the realm of human sexuality and our identity, there is a “holy space” in which language plays a vital role, though I disagree that we, as creatures, have any power to “disclose our identities,” as if we can (to use her chosen term) “narrate” them. In the Catholic understanding of human sexuality, our sexual identities are self-evident, based on the bodies that God gave us. But I doubt that Grace will accept my argument, so I will appeal to a higher authority, in words said in that most holy of spaces, in Mass on August 13, 2021, the same day on which her essay was published. From ambos around the world, it is no accident that these words from Matthew 19 were proclaimed, as a loving rebuttal by Our Lord to His beloved daughter Grace’s confusion about her sexual identity:
He said in reply, “Have you not read that from the beginning
the Creator made them male and female and said,
For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother
and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?
So they are no longer two, but one flesh.
Therefore, what God has joined together, man must not separate.”
Language, indeed, is a “holy space in which we encounter the divine,” and it is in the words of Genesis that men and women like Grace and I, who live with sexual attractions to the same sex, can discover the divine architecture of our sexuality. No one is an “LGBTQ Catholic,” as Archbishop Chaput has stated so clearly for our benefit, as a good shepherd should in these confusing times:
[W]hat the Church holds to be true about human sexuality is not a stumbling block. It is the only real path to joy and wholeness. There is no such thing as an “LGBTQ Catholic” or a “transgender Catholic” or a “heterosexual Catholic,” as if our sexual appetites defined who we are; as if these designations described discrete communities of differing but equal integrity within the real ecclesial community, the body of Jesus Christ. This has never been true in the life of the Church, and is not true now. It follows that “LGBTQ” and similar language should not be used in Church documents, because using it suggests that these are real, autonomous groups, and the Church simply doesn’t categorize people that way.
The Catechism tells us this is the duty of every Catholic:
Everyone, man and woman, should acknowledge and accept his sexual identity. Physical, moral, and spiritual difference and complementarity are oriented toward the goods of marriage and the flourishing of family life. The harmony of the couple and of society depends in part on the way in which the complementarity, needs, and mutual support between the sexes are lived out. (No. 2333)
Grace writes, “In narrating my own identity and letting it coexist with my faith, I have finally found not a cross but new life.” And yet, fundamental to the Catholic faith is believing and affirming that there are only two sexes, as the sole sexual identities created by God. To attempt to “narrate” one’s own identity as LGBTQ is therefore a rejection of the Catholic faith and rebellion against God. Simply put, “narrating” one’s own sexual identity as “LGBTQ” can’t coexist with the Catholic faith. There is a way for the Church to feel like home for Grace and other “queer Catholics.” The answer is simple: it begins with them. The Church will feel like home as soon as they decide to follow the path of chastity, which has been a sure guide and path for all the saints who have gone before us.
If that is unappealing to them, the Episcopalian church—at least for now—is still meeting on Sunday mornings. As for those of us who have repented of our past lives living as “LGBTQ persons,” we must pray earnestly for the conversion of people like Grace and, in the meantime, do everything in our power to prevent them from having any influence in the Church whatsoever.
Full story at Crisis Magazine.
I’ll summarize Grace Doeffler’s convictions: I want the Church to conform to my wishes. That’s really what the LGBTBQIAA+XWZ alphabet people want. They demand the Church change to accomodate sin.
When will the church feel like home to adulterers? Where does it end?
3rd paragraph-God’s preferred pronouns are He, Him and His (He is Trinity in Unity)
9th paragraph of linked article- There was a time not too long ago where every good Catholic person’s spirituality was of shame, sacrifice and silence. But also service.
This woman is a lost and confused soul in need of reparative therapy. She must form her conscience to fit the Church’s teachings, not the other way around.
I don’t how many Catholics do feel “at home” in the Church? I think if you get positive attention from the pastor that helps you feel welcome It takes a long time sometimes even for those baptized as infants. A lot depends on your family and your upbringing.
I think when young people feel different it makes them uncomfortable and if they are going to a parish where a lot of people their age are in the baby making years, they might feel unseen.
There are people who have never met a stranger and they feel at home anywhere. Other people are shy and need more outreach.
I guess it depends on what feeling at home in the Church means to you.
I honestly never even had that as a standard to measure a church by.
Figure out what you need and ask for it. If you need attention, talk to some people or the priests. If you need affirmation of a sinful lifestyle, you should not get that.
Where I live, most priests would be very welcoming to someone who identifies as queer although you will have to explain. She calls herself a lesbian and that to me is a different thing than queer, but some people use the word queer as a catchall for non-cis and non-straight.
The author of that article from Crisis Magazine is named David Laidlaw.
“why a Jesuit-run magazine would allow such heterodox nonsense to appear in their magazine” The answer is in the question ie Jesuit.. says all that needs to be said
Actually, it is America magazine, with Fr. James Martin as editor at large.
They also have this:
The debate about whether the Catholic Church should ordain women to the diaconate often focuses on theological and historical arguments. Rarely, though, do we hear from women who themselves feel called to this ministry. Meet Casey Stanton, co-director of Discerning Deacons, a project to engage Catholics in the active discernment of the church about women and the diaconate. We talk to Casey about how and why she feels like she’s called, and how she tempers feelings of frustration with a commitment to staying in the church.
This is the same rag that had the article “The Case for Communism ” , this type of story is in their wheelhouse .
Click the link. The rest of it is good.
His quote from Pope Francis on what he calls the “alternativists”
“I’ll enter the Church, but with this idea, with this ideology.” They propose conditions “and their membership in the Church is thereby partial.” They too “have one foot outside the Church; they’re renting the Church” but don’t really experience it; and they too have been present from the very outset of evangelical preaching, as testified by “the agnostics, whom the Apostle John harshly lambasted: ‘We are… yes, yes… we are Catholics, but with these ideas.’” They seek an alternative, because they don’t share the common experience of the Church.
Maybe when society starts to be honest and recognizes mental illness, we can start to get some help for these people.
One thing I wish people like Grace would experience is the very deep love of Jesus for them accompanied by an equally deep healing of memories. The two should go hand-in-hand with some good spiritual direction. But approaching the throne of Grace with any intention other than a self-oblation — an abandonment to Divine Providence– is an exercise in futility. If fidelity to our Lord means a lifetime of chastity, then that should be chosen with the promise of heaven’s assistance. That is not a popular message, but it is, at least for now, the message of the gospel.
For women, it is usually not about sex. People like this feel lonely and out of place. They want love. They want to be seen and heard and a lot of them, once they get that need met, can move on to better things.
People do not love well and you are right, the love of Jesus never stops. It is better not to test it, though, for your own sake, because all sin has consequences.
This is a young person who is unhappy and just doesn’t know how to sit still with the Lord.
The world doesn’t love anyone. Witness the number of celebrities who get lots of love and affection but one twitter jerk ruins their weel.
Life is about learning to do right by the Lord which is always doing right for yourself, no matter who runs their mouth.
Stay Catholic, Grace. You will be glad you did.
I think my sentence was unclear. When you obey the Lord you do the best thing you can do for yourself and for all others. There are people who will criticize you., mock you, ridicule you but so what? It can sting but don’t let it turn you around.
When you are older you will realize that you made a lot of mistakes when doing your own will or the will of those around you. Sometimes obeying God will cost you happiness in this world (but not joy in the Lord) and friends and even family. You just have to keep walking with God.
Stay in the Catholic Church. No matter what. You will have temptations like “I’m not good enough for the Church” or “The Church is not good enough for me.” Ignore them.
And…I meant ruins their week not ruins their weel. Sorry.
This person needs to do what we all need to do: Mass, read the Bible, pray the Rosary, the Chaplet, the Angelus, the Liturgy of the Hours and do good works.
There was a nun who passed away in my diocese years ago and after she died a writing, of hers was passed out. It was called:
Take Your Eyes Off Yourself
I looked to see if anyone had posted it online and I do not find it but I remember it saying that God will do with you what He wants to. Stop thinking about yourself so much. Nothing about yourself matters very much. God is what matters.
When I googled it the first hit was “When Moses took his eyes off himself, he did amazing things for God.”
Now let’s look at a typical family, with a Mom, two kids, and a Husband. So, is it Ok for the Husband to go out, have fun, in the same manner as LGBTQ folk? Why not? If LGBTQ folk can do as they please, why not a married man? We all know the answer to this. For a husband to go out and act in the same irresponsible manner as LGBTQs, would be disastrous for his family.
Society expects, no, Demands! correct behavior for Married men – they must be remain straight and moral, for kids and family.
So why this continued complimentary and obsequious Media behavior to LGBTQs?
This is a disastrous and troubling approach. If it isn’t good for a Married Man, it is not good for LGBTQs.
See how you said a Mom, two kids and a husband? Interesting.
I know that wasn’t the point, though.
Views on infidelity are still mostly negative but not totally and one does not have to be married.
The media endorses divorce and gives encouragement to any relationship that develops after a couple splits, even if the divorce is not finalized.
While enduring marriage is still lauded, it is unexpected.
I think in Catholic circles there is much more of a stigma to divorce and remarriage.
LGBT crowd: We want the Church to do what we want, they must accept our perversions and sexual choices no matter how much they are an affront to the will of God. We wont give up our sins,, our will be done
Sure bohemond. But ask you to mask up and all hell breaks loose.
Asking us to mask up is asking us to accept politically correct tyranny and we say no.
You can try to mess with my moniker but those who read my comments know my views. You are just YFC having a risky fit and we all know it.
Wearing a mask has nothing to do with politics. It is just common sense. Is it foolproof? Nope. It is just one of several things that you should do. Not wearing a mask is not a political statement, either. Most people don’t wear them because they are inconvenient and annoying.
Vault your mask, be free.
Bohemond. You’re exactly right but how do we help these people? And am I writing your name correctly?
“You’re exactly right but how do we help these people? Answer from mouth of Our Divine Savior “pick up your cross and follow me” . When I was battling my addiction to pornography and prostitutes I never demanded the Church make changes for my awful sinful behavior so I could be “affirmed” Yet the LGBT crowd wants special exemption. They are blight on the Church
Hi bohemond, your post made me think how there was a time when pornography was really taboo, then it became kind of glossy and chic, then it became for some just something they thought everybody did. Now people are campaigning against it because they see the destructiveness of it. The same (but less so) with prostitution. It got glamorized in the movies but now people campaign against human trafficking.
We are at the point where news media and morning talk shows and evening shows and reality shows and Sesame Street are glamorizing all things LGBTQ but as the bad things inherent in those things become more apparent, I think you will see more struggle and repentance.
Porn still is taboo, that’s why men keep it from their wives, teens from their parents, women from everyone. The attempts to normalize sin can only go so far, those caught up in those sins know the shameful truth of them.
I am more like WC Fields where I wouldn’t want to belong to any club that would have me as a member.
But the Church isn’t a club and if you were baptized, you have duties and obligations to the Church.
Leaving because the Church tells you something that you don’t want to hear isn’t an option.
It was not my choice to be baptized but it ended up being the best thing anybody ever did for me.
That was Groucho Marx
My coffee cup lied to me!
“Success is much more difficult than failure” Bill Graham was talking about rock bands but it is true in Catholicism, too. It is easier to go where there are not as many demands and renunciations. But like Jesus said “Much will be required of the person entrusted with much, and still more will be demanded of the person entrusted with more.” Luke 12:48
I am a failure, too.
I like robbing banks, and assaulting old ladies….
but I am trying (oh,how noble of me).
But, I am a failure, too.
Just a usual Catholic, just ask me.
No, LGBTQs.
Your remarks about being just one of the sinner Catholic folks,
do not justify your actions, and they also do not allow you to
present LGBTQ life (as active and promoted) to be acceptable in the Catholic faith.
Please stop robbing banks and assaulting old ladies. And confess to a priest not to the internet.
You completely misunderstood the post.