There are many ways – some more conventional than others – that cremated remains, kept in urns or in other containers, find their way to the Catholic cemetery overseen by Richard Peterson in Seattle, Washington.
Sometimes, an urn is left on the steps of a parish by an anonymous person. Other times, remains are unwittingly passed from one family to another during estate sales.
“We’ve had situations where people have purchased contents of storage units that have gone up for auction…and they received cremated remains,” he said.
“We don’t even know if they were Catholic, but we were burying them at no charge in the Catholic cemeteries because those people were human beings and their lives were worth something and they need to be memorialized, at least buried properly,” Peterson said.
More typically, a family will keep the urn of a loved one in their homes, due to a difficulty in saying goodbye, or because of the high costs of a burial, or because they were not aware that the Catholic Church requires their burial or interment. But keeping remains in the home is always a temporary thing, Peterson noted.
“At some point in time, somebody’s going to have to deal with those cremated remains that are in an urn on the mantle. Is that when the house gets sold? Is that when grandma dies?” he said.
Furthermore, cremated remains are often treated in a way that does not show proper reverence to the body or respect for the Catholic belief in the resurrection, he said.
“Scattering or keeping them at home or subdividing cremated remains, or turning them into jewelry, or any of these things really don’t remind us that…our bodies are sacred and they should point us to deeper participation in the dying and rising of Jesus himself. That’s really our focus, is our Lord.”
This is why many Catholic cemeteries in dioceses throughout the United States began offering free interment of cremated remains, said Peterson, who is the president of Associated Catholic Cemeteries in the Archdiocese of Seattle.
“It’s something you find in any diocese or I say I would say almost every diocese in the country in one form or another,” he said….
The offer of free interment also ensures a proper resting place for the remains even if a family is unable to afford burial fees, said Gary Schaaf, executive director of Catholic Funeral and Cemetery Services in Northern Colorado.
“There’s a story from our sister cemeteries in California where there was a man who had been homeless for a couple of years, and he was carrying his wife’s cremated remains around in a shopping cart,” Schaaf said.
“And he just didn’t know what to do. Imagine the anxiety of not knowing what to do with that and just the enormous pressure. One, you’re lonely, you’re homeless. Maybe your priority in life was taking care of your spouse, and now they pass away. It’s just tragic on a multitude of levels,” he said.
“And so I know that that gentleman, our ability to lay his loved one in sacred space and then in essence help him fill the void of loss with faith…was profound.”
The interment does not take away the wound of loss, Schaaf added, “but it does allow that wound to heal. And wounds, in a sense, they heal sometimes with scar tissue, and scar tissue often is stronger than regular tissue….”
The above comes from a Nov. 3 story by the Catholic News Agency.
Can’t help thinking of
The Big Lebowski
It is good that Catholic cemeteries are offering this service. Yet, it should be noted that the Church still prefers burial.
“The Church earnestly recommends that the pious custom of burial be retained; but it does not forbid cremation, unless this is chosen for reasons which are contrary to Christian teaching.”
– The Code of Canon Law, 1985, #1176.3
Burial of a body is expensive. So unless the Church is going to pay for that, cremation it is.
Expense is a reason that a person or family might choose cremation, rather than the preferred traditional way of burying our bodies, an inseparable part ourselves. Of course, God can resurrect a person’s body regardless of its (semi-)final state. Yet, our belief in the resurrection of the body is better symbolized by a service and interment with the body. And, burying the dead is one of the Church’s ancient traditions called the corporal works of mercy. (Catechism of the Catholic Church #2447) Burial is not intended to be a financial burden, rather a blessing, which many families can accommodate without undue hardship. Again, if there are reasons for cremation and the cremated remains, cremains, are dealt with reverently and appropriately, cremation could be the best option in a particular case.
Green burials are much cheaper than traditional.
So would be contacting a neighborhood amateur arborist and putting your loved one through a wood chipper.
Hard to get much cheaper or greener than contributing to the community compost.
No, that would be abuse of a corpse which is a felony.
And, would that be your objection to putting a loved one through a wood chipper?!
It would be cheaper and greener, which was the point being made.
Do you comply with canon law as well as civil law?
Nice to catch dioceses doing something right for a change.
moral dilemma:
do the crematoria utilize fossil fuels ???
Cremation is barbaric. The body of a human put into an oven and burned to ashes is unthinkable to me. Is that all we think about the value of a dead human being? If you are respected in life you should be respected in death. Embalming is also barbaric. If an individual has left any money, he should be respectfully buried “as is”.
i don’t be cremated,
will burn plenty enuff in Purgatory
if i get that far,
Lord have Mercy
“Green burials are much cheaper than traditional.”
Anonymous November 7, 2020 at 2:53 am
i believe this is a direct quote from Laudato Si
and……..
Anonymous, get some sleep
2:53 am sheesh
The problem for me is that you cannot have a funeral Mass because the body cannot go into the Church. You would have to have a memorial Mass.
You have the funeral Mass before the cremation. That is what we did for my mother.
I was talking about green burials where the body is not embalmed.
Anonymous, that appears to not be correct, unless you know of a diocese that forbids it. This is from one California diocese:
“The Church prefers that the body be present for the full funeral liturgy and the cremation to take place after the liturgy. However, if it is not possible for the body to be present at the Funeral Mass, having the cremated remains present at the Funeral Mass is acceptable.
All the usual rites which are celebrated with the body present may also be celebrated in the presence of the cremated remains. The rituals that may be celebrated are: prayers after death, gathering in the presence of the body, vigil for the deceased, Funeral Mass, Funeral Liturgy outside of Mass, and the Rite of Committal. During the liturgies, the cremated remains are treated with the same dignity and respect traditionally afforded the full body in a casket.”
I have a lovely neighbor who grew up in a family of nine children, all educated in Catholic schools. Her mom just turned age 100, and is in an Assisted Living center. My neighbor got married and raised six children. Two of her grown sons died, one due to illness, and the other had an accident at work. Her husband also had a terminal illness and died. Then, one of her sisters had a terminal illness and died! Lots of Catholic funerals and burials, sadly, for this neighbor– that was all more than about 25 years ago, and they are all buried in the local Catholic cemetery in Colma. Now– this poor lady mentioned to me, around the time of All Souls’ Day– that she had made plans for herself, recently, to just be cremated– because her own Catholic funeral and burial would be too costly! Caring for her mom’s final expenses, when the time comes– though the costs are split among her siblings– would be the last of what she could do, financially! She did not want to place any burdens on her grown children, or grown grandchildren, either. I was so sad and shocked! A devout Catholic lady, a good woman, always involved in doing good for others– could not afford her own Catholic grave! (But did she pre-plan and pre-pay for a niche for an urn, at the cemetery?? I didn’t ask.) So tragic!! That made no sense to me! Then I found out– there are many others in the church, in the same boat– lots of pre-planned and paid-for cremations, awaiting lone, devout, elderly Catholics, sitting there in the pews, at Mass!! Not fair! Unthinkable! Can’t our Church do something about this terrible situation?
The average funeral home and religious services costs, today– to include everything but the grave and marker/plaque with the deceased’s name on it, at the cemetery– runs between $7,000-$12,000. The average costs for a cremation and religious funeral services, today (again, not including the cemetery niche and name plaque, for the urn) runs between $6,000-$7,000. About 50+ years ago, when we buried my maternal grandfather, the entire amount for every single thing– from the Last Rites at his death in the hospital, all the way up to the casket being lowered into the grave, with the priest’s gravesite prayers — ran a total of: $2,000! Every little thing was quickly paid off, by extended family members altogether, before we all left our beloved, grieving Grandma’s home, after it was all over with. Same thing, when my paternal grandmother died, about five years later. And today– about fifty years later– both birth and death expenses, are just skyrocketing!! — No longer normal!! This is not right!!
Green funerals are $2,000-3,000.
A crematorium in our area advertises in the paper. Pick up the body, cremate it, do as you wish with the ashes, all for $650. Some of the larger cremation companies charge about $2K. Sounds reasonable to me.
Catholics can not do as they wish with the ashes.
It is very important for us, as Catholics, to live by Christ’s teachings, and to daily lead good lives for Him! We must seek to always live in a state of grace– and die in a state of grace– ready to meet the Bridegroom, like the Five Wise Virgins, in today’s Gospel reading. “For you know not the day nor the hour” of His coming,” as it says in today’s Gospel reading! All Catholics should have a funeral Mass, and burial in a Catholic cemetery– in specially-consecrated ground for our loved ones. We are God’s People, not of the world.
as our separated brethren assert:
You cannot urn your way into heaven